Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 71 USERS: B-
Return to Sender

Elsewhere, Santana enters a classroom to find Brittany chalking an elaborate mathematical formula on the blackboard, because Brit-Brit's trying to prove The Riemann Hypothesis, because Brittany, as you'll recall, is a math genius.

Smear sideways to a laboratory at MIT, where a demurely-attired Brit-Brit gets a couple of sensors taped to her forehead as a professor asks, "Miss Pierce, what's five billion, seven hundred fifty-two million, two hundred ninety-three thousand, two hundred eighty-eight divided by nine hundred fifty-eight million, seven hundred fifteen thousand, five hundred forty-eight?" Brit-Brit: "I dunno… six?" A round of applause for the most gifted mind in a generation!

Smear back to the present, where Brittany sighs, "I just wish that I could have my old life back -- where I wasn't a mathematical genius, and all I wanted to do was scissor you and talk to my cat." "Well," Santana replies, apropos of absolutely nothing, "What do you say you and I reunite a little threesome called 'The Unholy Trinity'?"

Smash back to the music room, where Brittany, Quinn, and Santana have donned their old Cheerios drag to refamiliarize us all with Britney Spears's "Toxic." Once again, I have little recall of the original performance. If you'd have asked me to name the most impressively inappropriate school assembly number from the past five years, I'd have said, "this one, duuuuuuuh" but the ladies certainly are...vigorous in their presentation of the song this time around. I'll tell you what pisses me off, though. As entertaining as the choir room version is, what with those carwash skirts all alluringly aflutter and such, they keep cutting over to some bizarre and inexplicable fantasy version of the performance that is so much more interesting. The ladies are over on the stage in The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, clad in appropriate-for-primetime red-and-black lingerie, locked in crimson-tinted go-go girl cages like the one briefly seen in Other Britney's "Work Bitch" video, and it's just darker and stranger and, oh, so much more fun than the choir room bits are. Basically, I'm annoyed we're not seeing more of it.

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