Lights Out

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 5 USERS: B-
The Darkness Persists
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Music Room. New Puck, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel and Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen enter to find Artie, Not-So-Unique, Pretty Kitty and New Finn busily tapping away on their phones. New Finn, of course, is sending suspiciously well-spelled messages to His Mysterious Internet Correspondent, complaining about the fact that His Mysterious Internet Correspondent has stood him up twice already. "Why are you afraid to meet me?" New Finn texts. "IDK," replies His Mysterious Internet Correspondent. Unfortunately, I don't speak stupid, so I have no idea what that response actually means, but judging by the way New Finn's now sucking on his teeth, I'm guessing it's not good. [Note: "IDK" (ironically) means "I don't know." -- Rachel.] New Finn finally lifts his eyes from his screen to note that Pretty Kitty's also pecking away at her keyboard, and he immediately demands to know who she's chatting with. "I'm playing 4 Pics 1 Word, weirdo stalker," she sneers back, adding, "Do I need to get a restraining order?"

If she does, she won't be able to do so for several more minutes, as Mr. Schue's just now arrived from points elsewhere to shout, "Guys, we got a problem! Her name is Frida Romero!"

Smear sideways to some malnourished teenager wailing "The Star-Spangled Banner" in an anonymous rehearsal studio. "With Regionals only a few weeks away," Mr. Schue's Voiceover narrates, "I went to scout out the competition." Sure enough, Actual Mr. Schue skulks into view in the hallway adjacent, and he stands there with mouth agape as the anemic tween commits vile and repulsive acts of entirely unwarranted villainy against our national anthem until it's time to...

...smear back to the present. "The Hoosier Daddies have a secret weapon," he glumly informs the kiddies, and I'm sorry, but does this mean this poodle-headed dipshit just drove six hours round-trip to sneak into a public high school so he could watch that dangerously underfed toddler scream for all of fifteen seconds? Does North Central not have a YouTube presence at all? GOD, Will's an idiot.

ANY-way, Mr. Schue claims The Screamer's voice "could fill an arena," and adds that the only way the kiddies of The New New Directions could ever hope to beat their primary competition is by going "huge." He's talking "epic songs that will blow the heads off a hundred thousand people at a time," and just as I get ready to question his choice of words, there, given the late unpleasantness at McKinley High, the lights go out. D'OH!

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