Episode Report Card
LTG: B- | 1 USERS: F
I Said "Makeover," Not "Make Out"

Will enters Sue's office for a meaningless scene in which he tells her that he's applying to be on the blue-ribbon panel. He also asks her for a recommendation. Really? The woman who hates you? Why not asks your pal, Coach Beiste? Sue agrees and has already written a letter full of complimentary lies about him.

Improbably Bohemian Bushwick Loft. Rachel gets dressed and is cooking dinner when the pan on the stove burst into flames. She tries to put it out with a glass of wine. Or maybe it was just cider, since she and Kurt are both too young to buy booze. The fire goes out just as there's a knock on the door. It's Brody, who tells her that she's smoking. By which he doesn't mean the duck she just burned, but her appearance. Rachel the vegan was cooking duck? Cut to the two of them eating pizza. Brody tells her it's the thought that counts, and that no girl has ever cooked him dinner before. "Moon River" is playing in the background. I'm led to believe that this is completely coincidental, as if the producers didn't have time to insert the music after learning of Andy Williams' death. She tells him that she's changing from Old Rachel (the "annoy a guy for a year until he gives in type") to the New Rachel (the "cook dinner for a guy type"). He asks her to tell him one of Old Rachel's secrets. She makes him go first, and he confesses that as a kid, he was obsessed with Ace of Base because he loved the idea of women playing instruments. Except that the women in Ace of Base are singers and they don't play instruments. I knew there was something off about this guy. He's faking his knowledge of Swedish pop! Get out Rachel, before this all turns into some horrible Lifetime movie. Rachel's secret is that when she was eight, she got her first love letter from a boy named Tony, and her response was to correct all the grammar and return it to him. He laughs, and she tells him that even Finn doesn't know that story. The mention of her boyfriend dampens the romantic mood, and he tells her that he plans to be strictly hands-off. And then the two of them kiss, which doesn't strictly involve hands but still seems to contradict his hands-off pledge. And then there's a knock at the door. Surprise! It's Finn.

All this episode did was to make me miss Ugly Betty, which leads to two questions: First, why the hell didn't they cast Mark Indelicato on this show? And second, couldn't they possibly have brought Marc St. James in as the older brother of Jesse St. James?

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