Sadie Hawkins

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 1 USERS: B+
A Hard Pill to Swallow
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

"I'm telling you, it's been keeping me up at night!" Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen shouts as he and Dreamboat Blaine race through McKinley High's crowded halls to the tune of some low and ominous horns on the soundtrack. "Something weird's going on with The Warblers," he continues with an intense sense of urgency, adding, "They're doing all those weird flips and superhuman jumps at Sectionals!" Sam also notes that portly pepperpot Trent Warbler apparently vanished from the team right before the big performance, a disappearance that we all should know is terribly suspicious indeed. "So... what are you saying?" Dreamboat Blaine wonders once Lady Lips has finally given him a chance to speak. "I think they cheated at Sectionals!" Lady Lips solemnly intones. "You can't make accusations like that without any kind of evidence," Blaine points out, leading Lady Lips to all but scream, "Then I'll find some evidence!" right there in the middle of the hallway. Then, as is his apparent wont, Lady Lips abruptly switches gears to wonder if Blaine might have some soothing balm he could spare. "Conspiracy theories make my lips get all chapped," Lady Lips explains, because that makes sense. After an awkward pause that I initially misinterpreted as Blaine's extreme reluctance to have Sam slobber all over his ChapStick, Blaine passes him a handy tube, and then watches with a wee bit too much interest as Sam smears several layers of camphor-infused wax all over the vasty expanses of his enormous mouth. Eventually, Single-T Tina and Sugar Motta pop up from out of nowhere to drag them both into...

...a Student Council meeting, chaired, of course, by Student Council President Dreamboat Blaine. He first asks for a reading of the previous meeting's minutes -- Student Council Vice President Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen spent the entire forty-five minutes performing a Daniel Craig impersonation, according to Student Council Secretary Single-T Tina -- and he's about to review the budget with Student Council Treasurer Sugar Motta when Single-T Tina interrupts to announce the following: "It is now officially a hundred and forty-two days 'til prom, where all the hot girls get immediately snatched up by all the hot guys, and the sort-of hot girls get asked out by the sort-of hot guys and then all the rest of us have to sit around and wait for all the nerds and the freaks and the burnouts and the losers to work up some courage and ask us out to the most awkward night of heavy petting we're likely to get until we wake up in a nursing home getting groped by an orderly." Blaine graciously allows Lady Lips to interject something kindhearted yet vaguely insulting before wondering if Tina's rant has a point. "I propose the first annual McKinley High Sadie Hawkins dance," Tina smiles proudly, expositing that that the topic was the main item of discussion during "the last meeting of The Too Young To Be Bitter Club." Naturally, this kicks us into a sideways smear to...

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