As graduation now looms for a still-confusing number of Glee Clubbers, Will takes it upon himself to start worrying about the future for Frankenteen, Mercedes, and Santana Lopez, none of whom has committed to an acceptable post-high school plan as of yet. Following the sage advice of the freshly-helpful Sue, and with the knowledge that this year's Nationals features a "Vintage" theme, Mr. Schue announces "The First Annual McKinley High Saturday Night Fever Dance Contest." The competition -- whose winner will receive a replica of the iconic white suit Travolta wore, as painstakingly hand-crafted by Miss Becky Jackson -- is officially meant to get the children used to performing songs that have been around for longer than two weeks, even though they used to do shit like that all the time. However, the contest's actual goal is to force Frankenteen, Mercedes, and Santana Lopez to confess their hopes and dreams to their peers through the magic of Disco, like that's really gonna help anyone.
Naturally, complications ensue, as Frankenteen's still wrapped up in all that tiresome marriage bullshit with Idiot Rachel, and Mercedes feels she might not have what it takes to make it in the music business and Santana craves nothing more from life than a celebutard level of fame. But eventually, and with the help of various friends and romantic partners, they all agree to settle themselves down and go to college. Even though Dumbass Finn thinks he's going to matriculate at The Actors Studio, which isn't a school, but whatever. Everybody ends up happy, which I suppose is the only thing that matters.
With the main bulk of the episode divided pretty much evenly amongst those three, there's little room left for other developments, though Glee does somehow manage to mash some in anyway. Puck's already drawn up a business plan for his "Noah's Ark Pool Cleaning Service" out in Los Angeles, St. Gay Of Lima and Mercedes find themselves mentoring a transgendered teen -- yes, you read that right -- from their archrivals over at Carmel High, and somehow, when nobody was looking, Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen became the hottest guy on this show. Go figure.
Featuring an expectedly Bee Gees-heavy musical lineup that includes "You Should Be Dancing," as performed by Dreamboat Blaine, Gaylord Wiener, and Brit-Brit; "Night Fever," as performed by the eminent Mr. Schue with an assist from Dreamboat Blaine and New Guy With Gross Hair Whose Name I Can't Remember; The Trammps' "Disco Inferno," as performed by Mercedes with appropriate backup provided by Santana Lopez and Brittany; Mary Magdalene's "If I Can't Have You," as performed by Santana alone; "How Deep Is Your Love," as performed by Idiot Rachel, with vocal help coming from the usually-mute members of the McKinley High Jazz Ensemble; KC And The Sunshine Band's "Boogie Shoes," as performed by Vocal Adrenaline at their own Regionals competition; "More Than A Woman," as supposedly performed by Frankenteen, even though everyone knows there's no way in hell he can pull off a falsetto like that, with backup from Dreamboat Blaine, St. Gay Of Lima, Brit-Brit, Santana Lopez, Gaylord Wiener, and Single-T Tina; and "Stayin' Alive," as performed by Frankenteen, Mercedes, and Santana, with an eventual assist from nearly every single other goddamned cast member on the show.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Study Hall. A supremely bored-looking Dreamboat Blaine slumps in the front row, clad in a typically asinine Purple Short-Sleeve Button-Down With Gold Bowtie combo, until an ominous thumpa-thumpa only he can hear sets his toes a-tapping. Soon enough, a glittery, whirling disco ball drops down from out of nowhere to spin this portion of the evening's opening scene into clear fantasy territory, and as Dreamboat Blaine slides from his seat to shimmy his oddly-dressed self into the opening lines of The Bee Gees' "You Should Be Dancing," his fellow students quite naturally remain oblivious to the whole thing. With the notable exceptions of Gaylord Wiener and Our Miss Brit-Brit, of course, the latter of whom hop to their feet to join Dreamboat Blaine as he struts this particular head party out into the hallowed halls of dear McKinley High, where the three prance and wiggle and thrust their collective way on down to...
...The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, where the fantasy sequence quickly grounds itself in the reality of an enthusiastic performance staged by the trippy trio for the benefit of their fellow Glee Clubbers. Ad I gotta say, Darren Criss is doing a hell of a job keeping up with Harry Shum and Heather Morris, here. Well, as far as I can tell, given the choppy editing of this dance sequence. I suppose it doesn't really matter though, because Dreamboat Blaine looks super-hot in spite of his ridiculous clothing when he pulls this acrobatic, slow-motion, mid-air split towards the conclusion of the number, and isn't that all that counts in the end?
And when it's over, an applauding Mr. Schue makes his way up to the stage to ask, "What brought this on?" "Well," Dreamboat Blaine explains, "we knew this year's theme for Nationals was 'Vintage,' so we thought we needed something old, but something with a lot of energy, so we thought: Disco!" Mr. Schue is overjoyed, for as you'll no doubt recall, back when he was but a wee Glee Club sprog himself, his McKinley High squad won Nationals with a disco-themed performance, a brief snippet of which we flash back to now. I can't remember if this bit made it into the pilot as aired, but I do know it was in the version of the series premiere that won this show its sole Outstanding Directing Emmy to date, so there you go.
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