Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 5 USERS: A+
Life's Candy, and the Sun's a Ball of Buttah

...the hallway, where Will's immediately beset by a wrathful Sue Sylvester, and trust me when I tell you that a wrathful Sue Sylvester is a joy forever. "Here's what happens now," she menaces, drawing ever closer to him during the lines that follow. "I'm-a head on down to my condo in Boca, brown up a bit, get myself back into fighting shape, and then I'm gonna return to this school even more hell-bent on your destruction." "Get ready for the ride of your life, Will Schuester," she continues. "You are about to board The Sue Sylvester Express. Destination? Horror!" Hee. "You just woke a sleeping giant," Sue concludes. "Prepare to be crushed." She allows him scant time to respond, choosing instead to stalk off down the hallway, quite literally tossing cheerleaders and freshmen left and right as she heads out of the building until...well, until April, I guess. Is that a spoiler? Oh, screw it.

Music room. The kids have requested Mr. Schuester's presence for a couple of special presentations and, after being far too coy about it for far too long, they haul out the first-place trophy the judges unanimously awarded them at Sectionals. That's all right. Everybody can go ahead and cheer now, but remember: Next up is Regionals, and Vocal Adrenaline -- as we all well remember -- never sleeps, so New Directions has plenty of work ahead of them. And that second special presentation? Well, since Mr. Schuester wasn't able to see their award-winning performance two days ago, the kids have thrown together a little routine just for him. They playfully push him into a seat, and almost immediately, it begins: A cover version of Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You," and while the song itself is pretty fun, far better is the performance's choreography, which incorporates pieces from just about every single major number they've performed thus far this season, most obviously segments from "Last Name," "Hate On Me," "Single Ladies," "I Say A Little Prayer," the competing "Vitamin D" mash-ups, "Sit Down, You're Rocking The Boat," "Push It," "Hair," and "Proud Mary (In Wheelchairs)."

Unfortunately, we don't really get a good look at any of them, because intercut with this ecstatic display of irrational adolescent exuberance are scenes from what happens immediately after the song's finished in show-world time. Will, reinvigorated by the kids' ecstatic display of irrational adolescent exuberance, or some such bullshit, tears off down the school's deserted hallway in slow-motion, arriving at Emma's now-empty office just moments too late to bid her a proper farewell. But what's this? Could it be? Is that the adorably clad Emma lingering at the far end of yet another hallway, photogenically backlit by the rays from the late afternoon sun that stream through the window behind her? It is! Will, still reinvigorated by the kids' ecstatic display of irrational adolescent exuberance, or some such bullshit, tears off down yet another of the school's deserted hallways in slow-motion, arriving at Emma's photogenically backlit location just in time to plant a sloppy wet one on Emma's surprised lips. And how does she react?

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