Shooting Star

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | 7 USERS: D+
"An Hour Later, The Cops Arrived..."
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

April Rhodes Civic Pavilion. Mr. Schue has gathered (most of) the children on the auditorium's stage to reveal their competition for this year's Regionals: "From North Central High School in Indianapolis, The Hoosier Daddies, and from Our Lady Of Perpetual Loneliness in Battle Creek, Michigan, The Nun-Touchables." The kiddies hoot and holler, as is their wont, until the camera for some inexplicable reason decides to snap away from Mr. Schue's face and dance down the center of a foil-encased tube until it lands on Brittany's unusually solemn expression. "I have an announcement," she begins, cutting Mr. Schue's pointless blathering short. "I regret to inform you that a deadly asteroid is headed our way." There follows a lengthy pause, during which her fellow Glee Clubbers visibly struggle to absorb this horrible piece of information, after which Dreamboat Blaine ventures, "Didn't we just go through this at Christmas?" Yes, we did, Blaine, and no, I don't know why we're going through this again, so don't bother asking me.

Brittany's of no help as far as that's concerned, either, for she blithely ignores both Blaine's comment and a similar one from Single-T Tina to inform them all that she's "naming this comet Tubbington-Bopp," which elicits a skeptical eyebrow or two from Artie because she'd just referred to the unexpected extraterrestrial Lima-killer as an asteroid. Brittany continues to display remarkable amounts of astronomical savvy when she then refers to it both as a "meteor" and as a "meteorite," and why these tiny little fools on my television screen haven't already tuned her out like I did a couple of minutes ago, I'll never know. No matter, though, for Brit-Brit's already moved on to the primary point of her speech, which is this: Because they have mere days left to live, she will not be wasting her remaining hours on this planet practicing for Regionals, thank you very much. Rather, she will be making amends with someone she needs to "get right with" -- someone she loves more than any other person on the earth. Here, the camera zooms past New Finn's egregiously bare bicep to focus in on Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen's beatific expression of patient and affectionate understanding as Brittany concludes, "Lord Tubbington." Wah. Wah. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen furrows his dim brow while allowing the rest of his face to fall into this evening's title card.

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