Shooting Star

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | 7 USERS: D+
"An Hour Later, The Cops Arrived..."

Smear back to the present, where New Finn admits that he thinks he's in love with his mysterious bottle-blonde Internet sweetheart, and he announces his intention to search every last classroom in McKinley High until he finds her. I guess I'm just supposed to forget the fact that this school isn't very big, and that New Finn should therefore have run into his mysterious bottle-blonde Internet sweetheart many, many times during the last month and a half, but whatever. New Puck protests that New Finn can't just go chasing after his mysterious bottle-blonde Internet sweetheart without some sort of game plan in place for what happens once New Finn actually catches her, but before we find out what that plan might be, we first...

...dash over to Brittany's Boudoir, where we find the lady of the bedroom cooing sweet nothings into Lord Tubbington's decidedly disinterested ear. She forgives him for that time he filed paperwork to have her committed, and she also forgives him for that time he told the police she was the one who brutally murdered that whole family of mice, and she assures him she's always loved him the most, but Lord Tubbington doesn't seem to care. Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen's strenuous eyeroll basically says what I'm thinking at the moment, and when he's done with that, he thinks to wonder what Lord Tubbington's favorite song might be. "Maybe you could let him know how much he means to you by singing it to him," Lady Lips helpfully suggests. "I stopped singing to Lord Tubbington out of protest when he joined The KKKK," Brittany replies. "It's the Ku Klux Klan for cats," she explains, and thank God for that, because I'm sure I would have lost countless nights of sleep trying to puzzle that out for myself. Lady Lips, with preternatural amounts of patience, urges Brit-Brit to bring Lord Tubbington to choir practice so everyone might serenade him with his preferred tune. "That way," Lady Lips continues, "he'll see how much you love him, and everybody else in The Glee Club will stop feeling like you're choosing a cat over them." "Despite your outlandishly low test scores," Brittany concedes with a bright smile on her face, "you're a genius!"

Hallowed Halls Of Dear McKinley High. New Finn plants himself opposite Internet Blondie's locker and proceeds to stare holes through the back of her head until her Spidey-sense kicks in, whereupon she turns to giggle and fluster her way through some initial introductions. They flirt for a bit -- taking great pains to flash lots and lots of teeth while doing so -- until New Finn finally drags her off to...

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