The End Of Twerk

Episode Report Card
Demian: N/A | 104 USERS: C-
Twerk Like There's Nobody Watching
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

As "Came To Party" by Kanary Diamonds grooves along on the soundtrack, the camera staggers woozily through the darkened and empty school hallway until it lands upon a halfway-open door, through which it peeps to find the blissfully unaware Dreamboat Blaine popping his booty whilst rearranging the chairs in the music room. Somewhere behind the camera, Single-T Tina giggles, then calls out, "What are you doing?" Instantly mortified -- as well he should be -- Blaine charges towards both Tina and us, frantically screaming "Get out of here!" while pushing us all backwards through...

...the screen on Single-T Tina's product-placed smartphone. As most of the other children huddle around her up in the cheap seats on what I'm guessing is the following afternoon, Tina rewinds to the beginning of the clip so they all might point and laugh at Dreamboat Blaine's moment of abject humiliation some more. Naturally, Mr. Schue suddenly decides to drag a teachable moment out of all this, and he falsely claims, "This is nothing to be embarrassed about!" before noting, "Look at how you're all riveted by that video -- that's the kind of reaction we need from the judges if we're gonna one-up Throat Explosion at Nationals!" Yeah, whatever, Schue. "We need to edge-up our America's Sweetheart image a little bit," he continues, ignoring me as is his wont as he adds, "Show the judges that we're not afraid to rebel!" Of course, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel raises one of her meek little hands to point out that some of the children present might not be all that adept at popping it like it's hot, so Mr. Schue grandly promises them all something he's calling a "twerk-torial" right after we all make it through this evening's title card.

April Rhodes Civic Pavilion. The children have gathered on the stage for the abovementioned tutorial, and as Miss Amani wonders who's on her rocket over on the soundtrack, Pretty Kitty and New Puck put The New New Directions' "basic bitches" through the latter's paces. It should surprise no one to learn that Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel is especially awkward during the lewd wiggling that follows, but that's not important right now because we've just caught sight of Principal Sylvester lurking in the shadows of the lighting booth on the far side of the auditorium. Principal Sylvester eyes the stupidity now transpiring down on the stage for a moment or two and scowls mightily before she tightly purses her lips and stalks off out of the frame. Dun-dun-DUN!

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