The Spanish Teacher

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 2 USERS: C+
Livin' La Vida Lima
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

With absolutely no warning at all, Mr. Schue spins around to howl, "¡La cucaracha!" directly into the camera, and with that, we're off. As we learn from his subsequent voiceover, it would seem that Mr. Schue makes a habit of treating his Spanish students to a feisty rendition of "La Cucaracha" once a year on "Taco Tuesday," and this time around, he's enlisted the aid of Puck, Frankenteen, Artie and the ever-mute members of The McKinley Jazz Ensemble to the great and evident horror of every child in the classroom. Foremost amongst those horrified children is, of course, Santana Lopez -- who, I'm guessing, is here simply because Mr. Schue's class is an incredibly easy way to take care of her foreign language requirement -- and as she scowls at them with her barely concealed contempt, Mr. Schue and the boys give it their collective all, but really: Judy did it better. So did Louis Armstrong for that matter, but I'm starting to fall into a YouTube hole with all of these "Cucaracha" links, so I'll knock that crap off to let you know that, to add insult to injury, Mr. Schue and his merry band of makeshift mariachis are all clad in garish sombreros and serapes before giving you Mr. Schue's thoughts on his performance. "I should have known from the looks on my students' faces that I'd really stepped in it," Mr. Schue's voiceover sighs. "I'm ashamed," Mr. Schue's voiceover admits before adding, "To be a teacher is to offer students a gateway to the future, and I blew it. How could I have become so out of touch?" Okay, for one thing, you were always out of touch, you dipwad, and for another, stop being such a goddamn drama queen. That's Kurt's job, for Christ's sake.

In any event, once this opening nonsense is over and done with, the camera leaps over to The Lair Of The Maharishi for some nonsense of the expository sort, and we find Will -- still in his ludicrous Mexican costume, by the by -- already in mid-conference with Principal Figgins himself. Seems an anonymous complaint has been received regarding Will's teaching skills and, as The Maharishi patiently explains, this is an issue because the school's history teacher "has been forced into retirement due to some memory problems." Cue the sideways smear to...

...Mrs. Hagberg's History class, where the addled teacher in question taps her pointer against a Nazified map of the globe as Wagner's "Ride Of The Valkyries" kicks in on the soundtrack. "And that's how Germany won The Second World War!" the eminent Mrs. Hagberg exults. Remember when these cutaways used to be hysterically funny? Yeah, good times.

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