Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | Grade It Now!
O Fortuna!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Glee: The show added its own previously-on-Glee bit, which LTG refused to recap, so I'm going to ignore it, too. Take that, Wackily Voiced Announcer Man!

As various Glee Club members look on with stunned, disbelieving expressions of vaguely disgusted horror (or, in Britney's case, "blankly"), Miss Sylvester and Mr. Schuester engage in an extreme slow-motion Godzilla Versus Megalon-style giant-against-weakling duel to the death in the middle of McKinley High's auditorium, all exaggerated gesticulations and baying mouths, with their voices reduced to the sorts of drawn-out yowls one expects to find in pretentious mid-'80s New Wave videos. "How did this happen?" Will's voiceover wonders as the camera focuses tight on his face turning various shades of violet and crimson. "I look like a crazy person -- that's not me!" Alas, but it is, for Will's been brought low by the constant bickering that's been going on ever since last week's decongestant incident when, as you'll recall, Principal Figgins ordered Will to accept Sue as co-captain of the club. "I'm so ashamed of myself," Will's voiceover continues while his on-screen self pushes its face into Sue's to bellow while flapping its arms around in the air. "She's turned me into her!" And this would be, exactly? Oh, right -- sorry, I forgot whom I'm supposed to be rooting for, because Miss Sue Sylvester is quite simply that awesome, especially after she assumes narrative responsibilities as her theme song -- "O Fortuna" from Orff's Carmina Burana -- kicks in on the soundtrack. "Look at me!" her voiceover marvels as her on-screen self contorts its screaming face into a rictus of rage and draws its hands into gnarled claws. "Even in the heat of battle," her admiring voiceover continues, "I'm so elegant! Regal! I am Ajax, mighty Greek warrior! God, it feels good to finally pop that zit known as Will Schuester!" "Shut up, Sue!" Will's voiceover interrupts before catching itself and sighing, "Look at us -- we're even fighting in our voiceovers." Will's voiceover muses that the real trouble began "a couple of days ago," when Principal Figgins summoned the two of them into his office for a summit, and with that, we're...

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