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O Fortuna!

O Fortuna! Will's apparently gotten wind of the latest defections, and he accosts Sue in the teachers' lounge, but Miss Sylvester is cooler than the other side of the pillow, and calmly counters his anger with a proposal: "You pass my Cheerios, and I'll give you back your team of losers and snot faucets." "You'll have to pry those Fs from my cold, dead hands!" Will shoots back before spinning on his heel and flouncing on out of there. Sue's all, "Well, that can be easily arranged!" Will's screwed.

Over in Dr. Wu's House Of Obstetrics, the good doctor lectures his unseen clients on the relative merits of various stress relief activities while snipping away at his bonsai. "Can we cut the crap?" Kendra blares, and we're off! Dr. Wu wonders what Kendra and Terri could possibly want from him, as neither of them is pregnant at the moment. "Well, Wu," Kendra opens, flipping her hair around before starting in with the threatening tones, "you delivered all three of my kids -- each one is dumber than the last, plus they all have ADD and, although my husband nor I have red hair, they are all creepy ginger kids!" "It's caused by a recessive gene," Dr. Wu patiently explains. "That's one theory!" Kendra retorts. "Do you wanna hear mine? You gave me too much pitocin when I was in labor, and it screwed up their DNA!" Dr. Wu wonders if Kendra's "on some new kind of psychotropic medication," Terri denies it, and Kendra takes offense, but eventually, they get to the point: If Dr. Wu refuses to acquiesce to their as-yet-unnamed demands, Kendra will sue Wu for malpractice. As there are only two OBs in all of Lima, the mere whiff of a lawsuit would quickly destroy Wu's business, so he caves.

McKinley High. Quinn slams Rachel's locker shut in Rachel's face and threatens, "Listen here, Treasure Trail, we're about to have a smackdown!" Rachel feigns ignorance, but Quinn's relentless. "Don't play stupid with me, Stubbles -- I'm having Finn's baby, and you need to back off!" Rachel considers her options, then apologizes for allowing her romantic inclinations to get the better of her. However, she points out that Quinn's no innocent given the Glee Club's current situation -- Rachel knows Quinn's acting as Sue's mole and states, correctly, that Sue's looking out for no one's best interests but her own, and that if Quinn thinks Sue won't rip Quinn's cheerleading uniform off with her bare hands the instant she learns of Quinn's pregnancy, then Quinn's got another think coming. "Every time you whisper in her ear," Rachel argues, "you empower her to do more damage to the Glee Club, and right now? Glee Club is all you have. And if I were you, I'd recognize who my true friends are." "And I'd practice a little more," she adds, if only to set up the next musical number, "because you obviously have a lot you need to express." "Oh, you have no idea!" Quinn clenches, and barely have those words escaped her mouth when she whips around to launch herself into The Supremes' "You Keep Me Hangin' On," and to be honest with you, I don't know precisely what to say about it. Not that I don't like it -- Dianna Agron's proven her facility for 1960s girl-group songs before with "Say A Little Prayer," and it's a nice contrast to all the hyperemotional belting we've been getting from the other female solos thus far on this show, and I appreciate it as this episode's sole character number with all that it says about Quinn's utterly screwed-up priorities at the moment -- but the execution seems a little off to me. The bits where it's masquerading as a straight cheerleading routine are fine, as are the fantasy sequences where she's screaming relevant lyrics at various oblivious characters, particularly Sue Sylvester and Finn, but the parts where it turns into a stage routine with the female Cheerios costumed in football pads just don't seem to gel (though those parts, mind you, are entertaining to watch). Oh, well. At least it's not Nelly, or that Jordin Sparks crap.

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