Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | Grade It Now!
O Fortuna!

Even though they began the song in the music room, it somehow ends over on the auditorium stage, and barely has Will begun slobbering all over Rachel and Finn's asses regarding their (decidedly subpar and over-Auto-Tuned) performances when Quinn valiantly pushes herself to the front and snaps, "Excuse me? What about us? You expect us to just sway back here like props?"

Smear to some indeterminate point in the near past, where Sue's rehearsing Quinn on the line Quinn's just delivered in the auditorium. And once Quinn's got her line reading just right, Sue instructs, "Now turn to the other two and say..."

"I think Sue is right about him -- he clearly doesn't like minorities." In case you hadn't guessed, we'd smeared back to the post-"No Good" auditorium, and Quinn has directed that line at Britney and My Glorious Husband, who make frowny faces like they're thinking about that one real hard, and then it's...

...back to Sue's office, where the lady herself sighs, "Can you imagine in this day and age being discriminated against? My goodness, the pain you must be feeling!" The camera's slowly pulled back from Sue's face to reveal Britney and Puck occupying the folding chairs on the opposite side of Sue's desk. Turning to address My Glorious Husband, Sue asks, "So, your last name's Puckerman, huh?" "Shalom!" Puck replies with a firm and proud Jew Power salute, and I'm guessing this little character twist is the reason his name mysteriously morphed from "Puckerton" to "Puckerman" over the summer. "Who knew?" Sue shrugs by way of response -- which, uncannily enough, is the exact same reaction I had to this startling revelation regarding My Glorious Husband's glorious Hebraic roots. "And poor, sweet Britney," Sue continues, casually curling an eight-pound hand weight. "I know the Dutch are famous for being a cold people, but that's no excuse for treating you like some half-priced hooker in Amsterdam's famous red-light district." Britney looks like she doesn't understand anything. Go figure. "All I can say," Sue concludes, "is that if you're serious about leaving Schuester, Sue Sylvester's rainbow tent will gladly protect you from his storm of racism."

Chez Schue. Will arrives home early, and Terri, panicking, just haphazardly shoves her pregnancy pad up her skirt. Will doesn't notice the misshapen lump around her midsection because he is an idiot, but also because he's too busy being a self-serving, chauvinist, Neanderthal pig about Terri having dinner waiting for him when he gets home from work. Terri, for whatever reason, finds this attitude of his arousing rather than repugnant, but that's not important right now because what is important is the fact that Will made good on his earlier vow to accompany her to her next doctor's appointment. He phoned Dr. Wu that afternoon, and they have an appointment this coming Friday at 4 PM. Once again, Terri freaks her insane little lying ass straight into the commercial break.

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