Gossip Girl

Something About Survival

By Jacob Clifton | Aired on 12.17.2012

New York, I Love You XOXO - PREVIOUSLY Dan took Georgina to Tuscany so they could be super gay for no reason, and he screwed Nate over on the various "chapters" he is writing about everybody else on the show, but now even that has spiraled...

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Latest Episode
6-10 Recap	Something About Survival New York, I Love You XOXO - After six years and much ballyhoo, everybody ends up exactly where they belong.	12.17.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Grade	Author
6-9 Recap	Beyond The Goblin City The Revengers - Well, Chuck finally kills somebody.	12.10.2012 12.13.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
6-8 Recap	You're More Than In My Head It's Really Complicated - Dan and Serena's inaugural Thanksgiving is, predictably enough, awful. But at least Blair and Chuck are winning, for now.	12.03.2012 12.05.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
6-7 Recap	Our Time Is Running Out Save The Last Chance - Serena and Dan attempt to make amends, but it's Nate who might owe somebody the biggest apology.	11.26.2012 12.03.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
6-6 Recap	Spectrum Und Drang Where The Vile Things Are - Blair's worst idea ever coincides with Serena's, as one takes fashion in a chilling direction and the other one hooks up with a Humphrey.	11.19.2012 11.26.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
6-5 Recap	Dressing Up & Dressing Down Monstrous Ball - Everybody yells at everybody else at Cotillion, for the sixth year in a row; Operation Ivy still makes little to no sense.	11.12.2012 11.19.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
6-4 Recap	Spread Like A Sailor Portrait Of A Lady Alexander - The cast is surrounded by horses, horses, horses; Bart teaches Nate how to watusi.	11.05.2012 11.11.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
6-3 Recap	YOLO Technology Dirty Rotten Scandals - Sage is a miscreant, Dan is the worst, Rufus is the second-worst, everybody's kind of awful. Oh, and Blair literally loses her mind for a minute.	10.22.2012 10.29.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
6-2 Recap	Everything Was Beautiful & Nothing Hurt High Infidelity - Nate and Serena's respective love interests have a surprising connection; Blair's fashion-industry mishaps have only begun.	10.15.2012 10.21.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
6-1 Recap	Hobo Humpin' Upstate Babe Gone Maybe Gone - Rufus mends his heart as only a Humphrey can, while the rest of the show seeks out Serena to destroy her once and for all.	10.08.2012 10.14.2012	C+	Jacob Clifton
5-24 Recap	Fallout Girl Return Of The Ring - A bloodbath! Everything goes completely insane and we're left just muddling about in the wreckage. Which is to say, things are excellent.	05.14.2012 05.15.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-23 Recap	The Downside To Relevance The Fugitives - Schemes go off without a hitch, which can only mean the final reveal will be something truly horrifying. And oh, it is.	05.07.2012 05.08.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-22 Recap	Jackdaws, Or: Humphrey's Complaint Raiders Of The Lost Art - Everybody schemes on everybody else at that old sex club where we lost Carter Baizen long ago.	04.30.2012 05.07.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-21 Recap	If There Is I Haven't Found It Yet Despicable B - Blair realizes she's been acting out of character for a couple years, while Serena and Lily just act a mess.	04.23.2012 04.30.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-20 Recap	A Generous Serving Salon Of The Dead - Dan and Blair's plan to make people miserable is interrupted by misery from all sides, and it's hilarious.	04.16.2012 04.19.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-19 Recap	The Muses Of Montparnasse It Girl, Interrupted - Rufus leaves Lily after one scheme too many; Serena finally loses it on Lola.	04.09.2012 04.16.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-18 Recap	Elevator Love Song Con Heir - The Rhodes Women join up against Ivy; Dan and Blair achieve a sort of intimacy.	04.02.2012 04.06.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-17 Recap	Waking The Dragon The Princess Dowry - Everything about the show suddenly changes into something awesomer.	02.27.2012 03.05.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-16 Recap	The Truth About Charlie Cross Rhodes - While B tries to make amends, Chuck's on the warpath and Ivy comes clean.	02.20.2012 02.27.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-15 Recap	We Want Prenup Crazy, Cupid, Love - Blair makes a Hail Mary attempt to get Dan and Serena back together, and they fail to do her bidding.	02.13.2012 02.21.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-14 Recap	Runaway Snide The Backup Dan - Everybody runs around looking for Blair. Including Blair.	02.06.2012 02.13.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-13 Recap	Sale Of The Century G.G. - Blair finally gets exactly what's coming to her; Gossip Girl is revealed, kind of.	01.30.2012 02.06.2012	D	Jacob Clifton
5-12 Recap	S x S Father & The Bride - Blair's bachelorette party and Serena's blog launch lead to a truly radical rearrangement of priorities and alliances.	01.23.2012 01.24.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-9 Recap	The New Year's Eve Of Magical Thinking The End Of The Affair? - Blair finally loses her last marble.	01.16.2012 01.23.2012	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-10 Recap	So Much for My Happy Ending Riding In Town Cars With Boys - Serena, Dan and Ivy manage to concoct the perfect murder using only their stupid good intentions and Internet chicanery.	12.05.2011 12.06.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-9 Recap	It's A Fire Rhodes To Perdition - CeCe returns, and surprise surprise: Everybody turns awesome simultaneously. Most especially, of all people, Ivy.	11.28.2011 11.29.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-8 Recap	Hung Up On Somebody That You Used All The Pretty Sources - Hurley leaves amid massive journalistic mayhem, GG goes down, and Blair and Louis break up again some more.	11.21.2011 11.28.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-7 Recap	When The Hurley-Burley's Done The Big Sleep No More - Diana's machinations become ever more mystifying, and Blair loses it more impressively than ever before.	11.14.2011 11.21.2011	D	Jacob Clifton
5-6 Recap	This Is My Idea Of Fun I Am Number Nine - Dan's slip into madness begins, while Chuck demonstrates surprising amounts of growth and maturity for one so recently vile.	11.07.2011 11.07.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-5 Recap	Exploitation Of Neighbors The Fasting & The Furious - Serena secures the film rights to Dan's book, Gossip Girl makes her first attack on Diana Payne, and everybody forgets Yom Kippur.	10.24.2011 11.03.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-4 Recap	Always Coming Home Memoirs Of An Invisible Dan - Dan's book is released, as are the hounds of war.	10.17.2011 10.24.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-3 Recap	Charlie The Unicorn The Jewel Of Denial - Chuck and Serena both get pets, Ivy and Dan get new identities, and Blair gets a babydaddy.	10.10.2011 10.17.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-2 Recap	Beatrix Slaughter Beauty & The Feast - Nate becomes a blogger or something, Serena kidnaps Ivy, Dan and Chuck have a big old tickle party.	10.03.2011 10.10.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
5-1 Recap	The World Was A Mess, But His Hair Was Perfect Yes, Then Zero - Dan messes with Blair's royal dreams; Chuck leads Team Blonde to new personal insights on the West Coast; longest recap ever of all time ever.	09.26.2011 09.28.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-22 Recap	The Roaring Besides Her The Wrong Goodbye - Georgina! Secret identities! Makeouts! Explosions! Pregnancies! Yachts! Medications!	05.16.2011 05.23.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-21 Recap	French Negation, Or: The Jack/Russell Terreur Shattered Bass - If you can believe it, there are worse things than being near a broken window. There are few, but they exist.	05.09.2011 05.16.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-20 Recap	Bad Charlotte The Princesses & The Frog - Gossip Girl gets ahead of herself; Chuck goes out for the Irredeemable Olympics; royals are insulted.	05.02.2011 05.09.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-19 Recap	Blush & Bashful, Or: Game Of Scones Petty In Pink - B's flight from Lonelyboy leads to the arms of Prince Louis and friction with S; Lily experiences social discomfort; something with Raina happens also.	04.25.2011 05.02.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-18 Recap	Through Every Open Door The Kids Stay In The Picture - Lily's sentence comes down during a meeting of all the Rhodes Woman; Blair and Chuck once again pass in the night.	04.18.2011 04.25.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-17 Recap	Reader, She Kisses Him Empire Of The Son - Everything gets tied up nicely, then spins out of control in another direction.	02.28.2011 03.07.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-16 Recap	The Time To Make Up Your Mind About People While You Weren't Sleeping - Dan and Blair actually watch a movie in the same borough, and the world will never be the same.	02.21.2011 02.28.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-15 Recap	Blue Valentines It-Girl Happened One Night - Chuck's pattern of betraying Lily escalates, while Blair falls back into her old Serena-destroying tricks.	02.14.2011 02.22.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-14 Recap	Imperial Bedrooms Panic Roommate - C and B work isomorphic angles while Dan and Eric team up with Damien to teach Serena a lesson.	02.07.2011 02.09.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-13 Recap	Fever Started Long Ago Damien Darko - Damien makes some surprise moves; Blair and Dan escalate to war; everybody still hates Lily.	01.31.2011 02.07.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-12 Recap	The Temper Trap The Kids Are Not All Right - Sometimes, verrrry occasionally when the stars are just so, the adults of the UES -- like the proverbial blind squirrel or broken clock -- get it right. Ten points to Moms, five points each from Hufflepuff and Slytherin.	01.24.2011 01.31.2011	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-11 Recap	Pictures From an Institution, Or: The Bulls of Bendy Law The Townie - Dig deeply enough into any story, and eventually you will find that Lily van der Woodsen is to blame.	12.06.2010 12.13.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-10 Recap	If I Ever Feel Better Gaslit - This latest attempt on S's life changes everybody's stuff around. Strange betrayals. Even stranger alliances. Thanks are Given.	11.29.2010 12.06.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-9 Recap	Serena to the Infinite Power The Witches Of Bushwick - Serena's indecision makes everybody finally turn into Serena, so Serena sets Serena up for a fall, and eventually Serena gets kidnapped by Serena.	11.15.2010 11.22.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-8 Recap	Brooklyn Without Limits, Or: Arendt You Glad You Odile? Juliet Doesn't Live Here Anymore - A wonderful takedown, a Jane Austen/Tchaikovsky double threat, and bad Rufus advice creates a whole new kind of evil. Major evil!	11.08.2010 11.15.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-7 Recap	Heat/Stroke, Or: The Human Velocipede War At The Roses' - When the clandestine conspiracy Operation Smile performs a dark ritual on Blair's birthday, it's up to Dan and pop star Robyn to set things right again.	11.01.2010 11.05.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-6 Recap	to wound the autumnal city. Easy J - Jenny comes to town for one day of absolute misery and utter chaos before diving back down below the deeps.	10.25.2010 11.01.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-5 Recap	The Dandy Frightening The Squatter Goodbye, Columbia - Juliet comes after Serena with Vanessa, GG and STDs; Chuck comes after Blair with only his perfect haircut and a rotunda.	10.11.2010 10.18.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-4 Recap	Gravity Always Wins Touch Of Eva - Eva's charitable good-boy version of Chuck Bass lasts nearly twelve hours before Blair ruins everything, as usual without even really trying.	10.04.2010 10.11.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-3 Recap	Pieces Of Jennifer's Body The Undergraduates - Serena and Blair team up for a takedown, but it all seems like misdirection; everybody moves in with everybody else.	09.27.2010 10.04.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-2 Recap	Je Ne Suis La Belette De Personne Double Identity - Everybody comes back to the UES intact, while dark forces martial themselves once more against Serena van der Woodsen.	09.20.2010 09.27.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
4-1 Recap	The Reeling Belles De Jour - Lonelyboy's a babydaddy and Chuck is dead; S sleeps her way through the Paris underclass; B learns the French for "Lord Marcus."	09.13.2010 09.20.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-22 Recap	Jenny, King Of The Pirates Last Tango, Then Paris - Little J does everything she can to destroy New York City.	05.17.2010 05.25.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-21 Recap	L.Y.L.A.W.T.F. Ex-Husbands & Wives - Team Dan/Nate and Team Chuck/Jenny need B to solve the Mysteries of Dr. Will without S finding out, but all B wants is time with Rugby Boy.	05.10.2010 05.17.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-21 Recap	The Cutlery Chasing Me It's A Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad World - Rufus makes it easy on everybody when they must choose between the total mess he's constantly making of himself, or a Baldwin brother.	05.03.2010 05.10.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-19 Recap	The Year Of Magical Thinking Dr. Estrangeloved - Carmen Sandiego finally surrenders himself to the weinery whining of Rufus; Blair, Jenny and Vanessa all make surprising romantic decisions.	04.26.2010 05.03.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-18 Recap	Magnets: How They Work The Unblairable Lightness Of Being - Dorota and Vanya get hitched, and everybody pretends to care.	04.12.2010 04.19.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-17 Recap	All You Need Is Kill Inglorious Bassterds - Assassinations both performative and figurative take place at Nate's birthday party; Jack Bass wins; everybody loses. Especially Little J!	04.05.2010 04.12.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-16 Recap	The Old Ultraviolence The Empire Strikes Jack - Agnes, Jack and Elizabeth are all jerks as usual; Dan and Vanessa go back to being horrible; Chuck goes back to not smiling.	03.29.2010 04.05.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-15 Recap	When Concubine Met Catamite The Sixteen-Year-Old Virgin - The usual far-reaching interests and hobbies of the Upper East Side constrict themselves to one location: The area directly north of Jenny's hemline.	03.22.2010 03.27.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-14 Recap	At Least We Burn Trying The Lady Vanished - Jenny goes nuts, Rufus leaves for DUMBO and Vanessa chooses her future wife, while Serena leads Chuck into a whole new week of danger.	03.15.2010 03.22.2010	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-13 Recap	Bet They Collect Things, Like Ashtrays & Art The Hurt Locket - S & N's dumbness combines into ultradumbness, B & C's crazy combines into a whole new person, and Little J's still made of ticky-tacky.	03.08.2010 03.15.2010	C	Jacob Clifton
3-12 Recap	You Be Him + I'll Be Her The Debarted - Chuck deals with Bart's death, Maureen deals with Trip and Serena, and Lily finds herself unable to deal. Meanwhile, Jenny is a drug dealer.	12.07.2009 12.10.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-11 Recap	I'm Secretly On Your Side The Treasure Of Serena Madre - Thanksgiving blows up once again in the UES, CeCe sprinkles her particular gin-scented fairy dust, and secrets beget secrets.	11.30.2009 12.07.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-10 Recap	The Infernal Desire Machines Of Paul Hoffman The Last Days Of Disco Stick - Serena and Tripp go all predictable, Blair's crazy continues to mosey forward at a leisurely pace, Nate is rad, and the Constance Queen becomes a pirate.	11.16.2009 11.25.2009	C	Jacob Clifton
3-9 Recap	We Are Curious They Shoot Humphreys, Don't They? - Jenny conquers the UES, Blair and Serena make up, and Olivia makes a bunch of terrible, yet boring, decisions.	11.09.2009 11.13.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-8 Recap	Truth Even Unto Its Innermost Parts The Grandfather, Part II - Tripp's Election Night party causes everyone to go insane, Jenny washes her eyes, and Blair finally eats something.	11.02.2009 11.09.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-7 Recap	Raised On Robbery How To Succeed In Bassness - Everybody tries to be a grownup, except one Rufus Humphrey; nobody succeeds, including of course one Rufus Humphrey.	10.26.2009 11.02.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-6 Recap	All The Boys Think She's A Spy Enough About Eve - V and B alienate pretty much everybody, in an all-out war that nearly costs Lonelyboy his movie star lady-friend, while N and S start a war of their own.	10.19.2009 10.26.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-5 Recap	Fundamentals Of Botany, 1916 Rufus Getting Married - Everybody brings as much baggage as they can carry to the doomed van der Humphrey nuptials; the fate of Poppy is revealed.	10.12.2009 10.15.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-4 Recap	Boobs Are Not A Professional Skill Dan De Fleurette - Serena pretends to get a new job, which works out perfectly when she... Gets a pretend job!	10.05.2009 10.12.2009	D	Jacob Clifton
3-3 Recap	The Song Is The Boy The Lost Boy - Pilot Inspektor and Georgina stay bizarre, Serena becomes the Dan to Carter's Serena, and Chuck and Blair face off over a vintage photograph.	09.28.2009 10.05.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-2 Recap	We Have Always Lived in the Palace The Freshmen - College starts, everybody freaks out on everybody else, and Flaubert weighs in. Meanwhile, Nate gets a rash.	09.21.2009 09.28.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
3-1 Recap	A Rider Like My Father Reversals Of Fortune - Serena takes control of the world's media in order to avoid becoming a stripper, Blair and Chuck invent new ways to be creepy, Pilot Inspektor approaches.	09.14.2009 09.21.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-25 Recap	What New York Used To Be The Goodbye Gossip Girl - Class of 2009, welcome to the world. It's not substantially different from high school, especially considering how you're already constantly drinking and screwing, but you're more than welcome to it.	05.18.2009 05.27.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-24 Recap	Your Money Or Your Life Valley Girls - Lily stresses about problems that don't exist, in two different decades simultaneously, but everything works out like by magic. Meanwhile, Blair owns Prom.	05.11.2009 05.18.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-23 Recap	Perfect From Now On The Wrath Of Con - Blair fights Jesus, Serena fights Lily, and Poppy just becomes Selina Kyle once and for all.	05.04.2009 05.11.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-22 Recap	Fever Started Long Ago Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - Gabriel and Poppy are up to no good, Blair and Chuck don't even though they could, and Georgina Sparks comes back to the hood.	04.27.2009 05.05.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-21 Recap	Your Brain In Spain, Or: Pesach Shellshock Seder Anything - A bunch of WASPs ruin Passover like you've never seen.	04.20.2009 04.27.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-20 Recap	It's My Party & I'll Roam If I Want To The Remains Of The J - The Humphreys' poor communication skills detonate yet another fabulous social function, sending Serena Spainward and Vanessa into Chuck's arms.	03.30.2009 04.06.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-19 Recap	Fated To Pretend The Grandfather - Blair and Nate get in over their heads and seek comfort in each other, while Lily and Rufus get their worst idea yet.	03.23.2009 03.30.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-18 Recap	The Candle & The Mirror The Age Of Dissonance - Just like getting a whole Lit degree, but it only takes 44 minutes. In this economy, can you afford not to?	03.16.2009 03.23.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-17 Recap	Billy Subs In For Jeff & Bil! Carrnal Knowledge - Dumb schemes, dumber dialogue, deeply uninteresting hijinks: in the embarrassing episode your boyfriend will be bringing up if you ever try to defend this show, Dan dates a teacher, then doesn't, then does. And somehow, people care.	02.02.2009 02.09.2009	F	Jacob Clifton
2-16 Recap	Tantrum Of The Opera You've Got Yale! - It's suddenly Sadie Hawkins week: Lily debuts Rufus; Chuck's 'tude is on full display; Jack remains evil as hell; B and the Plastics ruin the new English teacher; Vanessa and Nate are still the prettiest ladies in the five boroughs.	01.19.2009 01.27.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-15 Recap	The Son That Went Missing Gone With The Will - The big baby secret finally gets out, and Lily and Rufus find the answers they've been looking for; Jack continues to take Chuck's life apart piece by piece.	01.12.2009 01.19.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-14 Recap	Where In The Hell Is Chuck Bass? San Diego? In The Realm Of The Basses - Uncle Jack appears with the broken leftovers of Chuck Bass and everybody deals with it; Jenny attempts to free Nelly Yuki's mind; Rufus and Lily are boring some more.	01.05.2009 01.12.2009	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-3 Recap	Sketches For My Sweetheart The Drunk O Brother, Where Bart Thou? - After a game-changing tragedy, Chuck melts down and CeCe Rhodes pays a visit. Everybody else just tries to survive those two crazy kids.	12.08.2008 12.11.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-12 Recap	Clone High It's A Wonderful Lie - B and C date through human puppets; Lily makes up her mind; Vanessa outshines Jenny for the first time in history; Lonelyboy and Serena approach Volume XXII of the Road To Closure; something horrible happens, and it is named Lexi.	12.01.2008 12.08.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-11 Recap	Thank You For Not Letting Me Be Myself Again The Magnificent Archibalds - Cyrus has designs on the house of Waldorf, Lily finally gets scared of Bart, Eric makes a much-needed appearance, everybody ends up at a different Thanksgiving from where they started, and Jenny reconciles with Rufus.	11.17.2008 11.24.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-10 Recap	Agnes Troublé! Bonfire Of The Vanity - B attempts to ruin her mother's new beau, but falls for him instead; Lonelyboy tries to ruin Bart but manages to fix Chuck instead; S's new beau brainwashes her some more; Agnes goes buckwild on Little J's future..	11.10.2008 11.17.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-9 Recap	Kenley Ruins Everything There Might Be Blood - Jenny and Nate leave DUMBO forever; Dan becomes what he hates most; Blair and Chuck have excellent post-breakup chemistry; Serena continues to find Aaron interesting for some reason.	11.03.2008 11.10.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-8 Recap	UES Artistes Prêt-à-Poor J - We can say we hope it will be worth what they give up, but it's doubtful. Blair surrenders her dignity, Dan his superiority, Chuck his room-temperature snakiness, Serena her romantic upper hand, and Jenny her everlovin' mind.	10.27.2008 10.30.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-7 Recap	One Week Of Danger Chuck In Real Life - Everybody gets the option of telling the truth, and half the UES decides to take it; the Bass/van der Woodsens and Archibald/Humphreys start new chapters; Chuck switches up the game impressively.	10.20.2008 10.27.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-6 Recap	Love In The Time Of College Applications New Haven Can Wait - Freshman identity crises? Early admission: Dan and Nate become each other; Blair and Serena become themselves; Rufus learns he's not Jenny.	10.13.2008 10.20.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-5 Recap	The Serena Also Rises Paranoid vs. Android vs. Subterranean Alien - Serena keeps burning her bridges, blowing off Blair horrifically; Jenny is becoming a teenage dropout right before your eyes; Dan and Chuck experiment with their total gayness ; and Lily sleeps in the bed she made -- under strict surveillance.	09.29.2008 10.06.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-4 Recap	Cansei de Ser Stupid The Ex Files - Quite possibly the finest episode of this, or any, television show. Your grandchildren will, in all likelihood, ask you where you were when Serena finally figured out what was holding her back. And then blew it all to hell.	09.22.2008 09.29.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-3 Recap	Hareton Earnshaw Will Have His Revenge! The Dark Night - It's like the Hamptons never happened as everybody manages to shuffle back around to where the cliffhanger left us last year: D/S are kaput, B/C are weird on a level of weirdness they just invented, and -- as usual -- Archibalds ain't nothing but ho's and tricks. Meanwhile: Vanessa Abrams rules! (Mark your calendar.)	09.15.2008 09.22.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-2 Recap	The Discreet Charming Of The Bourgeoisie Never Been Marcused - Rufus comes home; Chuck schemes all over the place and is blocked at every turn; Dan and Serena turn up the heat; Blair Waldorf FTW as usual..	09.08.2008 09.15.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
2-1 Recap	I Don't Want To Get Over You Summer, Kind Of Wonderful - Hamptons! Mädchen Amick! Farcical hijinks! Crazy random British people! Half-naked everybody! TINSLEY MORTIMER!	09.01.2008 09.08.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-18 Recap	Don't You Forget About Me Much 'I Do' About Nothing - Everybody gets together and then everybody breaks up again.	05.19.2008 05.27.2008	A	Jacob Clifton
1-17 Recap	I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You Woman On The Verge - Serena gets absolution but no resolution, Dan takes a ride on the Sparks express, and Lily screws things up but good.	05.12.2008 05.19.2008	B+	Jacob Clifton
1-16 Recap	When You Were A Fever All About My Brother - The van der Woodsens finally spill their giant secrets, and everybody goes crazy about it; in other news, the Humphreys still have poor judgment in most areas.	05.05.2008 05.09.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-15 Recap	Sparks Fly! Desperately Seeking Serena - The mysterious G makes her appearance, and destroys Serena's new life in about five seconds; meanwhile, Jenny and Nate both make surprising new friends, and we get our first sweet taste of Nelly Yuki.	04.28.2008 05.05.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-14 Recap	OMFG! The Blair Bitch Project - The UES plays host to the return of not only a semi-triumphant Blair, but a mysterious new villain.	04.21.2008 04.28.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-13 Recap	Dancing Barefoot The Thin Line Between Chuck & Nate - Blair worries about bumps, takes her lumps, gets down in the dumps, then pulls herself up by her strappy pumps. In other news...oh, who cares? Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!	01.08.2008 01.15.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-12 Recap	That's Just What You Are School Lies - Vanessa tapes Blair and Chuck's discussion of their tryst, Dan is better than all of us in every single way, and Serena puts up with it. Oh, and Lily totally stands Rufus up wicked bad.	01.01.2008 01.08.2008	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-11 Recap	Vanity Blair Roman Holiday - Merry Xmas! Unless you wanted a stable family unit, and then I guess you should just deal with it.	12.18.2007 12.26.2007	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-10 Recap	How Could You Use Our Poor Nate So? Hi, Society! - Chuck ruins his chances with Blair trying to keep their secret; Lily's mother tries to purchase Serena from Dan; Jenny is a jerk, but it's to her stupid mom, so it's fine.	12.04.2007 12.11.2007	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-9 Recap	Felt Up & Fingerprinted Blair Waldorf Must Pie! - Eleanor does a number on her daughter, the Captain loses his mind altogether, and Dan once again ruins everybody's day by trying too hard.	11.27.2007 12.04.2007	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-8 Recap	In Which Alliances Are Declared, And Dalliances Aired Seventeen Candles - Lots of things appear to change, but not really. Chuck talks Nate and Blair into breaking up so that he can date Blair, but does this in such a way where he's the good guy. Serena and Vanessa pretend to be friends for Dan's benefit, and Rufus knocks boots with his estranged, awful wife.	11.13.2007 11.20.2007	A	Jacob Clifton
1-7 Recap	A Truth Universally Acknowledged Victor, Victrola - One thousand bottles of champagne, one thousand bubbles, and at least ten cherries, all popped: from Jenny's knowledge about Alison's affair, to Nate's familial naiveté and Vanessa's B&E rap, to Blair's storied virtue, all come to a sexy, scandalous head. But this last, to whom? I'll never tell. XOXO.	11.06.2007 11.13.2007	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-6 Recap	V For Vendetta The Handmaiden's Tale - In a post-apocalyptic future world, procreation is strictly regulated by the government. Only one woman is strong enough, unique enough, and pretentious enough to stomp around breaking into homes and acting like a giant jerk anyway. Meet Vanessa Abrams. And tremble.	10.23.2007 10.30.2007	A	Jacob Clifton
1-5 Recap	Theories Of The Leisure Class Dare Devil - Truth Or Dare, a missing kid, and a date gone horribly right: the Von Trapp alignments of the van der Woodsen and Humphrey clans continues apace, and Eric finally comes home.	10.16.2007 10.23.2007	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-4 Recap	The Devil Wears Waldorf Bad News Blair - Eleanor turns girl against girl by offering daughter Blair a modeling job, then giving it to Serena. Meanwhile, a sexy Hobbit comes between Nate and Chuck, but Babe Ruth saves the day. Dan writes another entry in his Judging Journal, where he records the ways he is constantly being wronged, but does it looking swell.	10.09.2007 10.16.2007	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-3 Recap	For "College Of Choice," You Put "Ninja"? Poison Ivy - Blair follows up her best attack yet with a tearful reconciliation, but don't dream it's over! Also in line for tearful hugs are Nate and Dan, and Jenny and Eric, but at least Chuck's in there doing his best to get everybody back on the path to perdition.	10.02.2007 10.09.2007	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-2 Recap	Take Your Broke Ass Home! The Wild Brunch - B and C orchestrate a nuclear meltdown of bellini-spilling at the annual Bass Brunch at the Palace. Also in attendance are S and D, whose relationship falls apart when D realizes S is locked up tight in her world of hellish abundance. Doing just fine? B and N, whose mercenary relationship can withstand anything but the truth, which they're both determined to avoid at all costs.	09.25.2007 09.28.2007	A+	Jacob Clifton
1-1 Recap	Chivalry Is Dead But You're Still Kinda Cute Pilot - It is a jungle out there! Serena realizes that coming home isn't as easy as taking the train from Connecticut, Blair realizes that drama is the perfect substitute for love, Nate smokes a lot of pot and gets pimped out by his father, and the Humphreys sew their own clothes, among other irritating behaviors.	09.18.2007 09.25.2007	A	Jacob Clifton
1-1 Extra	Because You're Worth It Spoilers For The Gossip Girl* Series Finale* - In gearing up for the show's premiere, let's take a look into Tubey's Waterford ball and see what lies ahead.	09.11.2007 09.12.2007	N/A	Jacob Clifton