Happy Endings

Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: D | 14 USERS: B+
Parrot Sketch Not Included

Mike had hoped Briggs would help him find Juan, but he's sticking to the earlier and very sensible I-shouldn't-have-anything-to-do-with-this plan. He and Jakes leave and Briggs gets a case of the willies when they approach his car, then asks Jakes to drive. It also appears that Graceland doesn't have a garage or anything and the residents just all park on the street like commoners? I expect better of the federal government, really.

Mike stares at his laptop and watches the unmoving beacon: he tells Paige they took Jakes's truck. Oh, she put on a shirt! It must be a formal occasion.

So Jakes really is picking up some parrots. Briggs chooses this awesome moment to talk about what's going on between Jakes and Johnny, and brings up the face-punching incident. As they load up the birds, Jakes admits he was drunk and angry and had just come from making a fool of himself at Cassandra's. Briggs is of the opinion that Jakes did the right thing not being a part of Daniel's life, and he should let Cassie go. Jakes asks if Briggs has taken his own advice and let his dead girlfriend Lisa go. Briggs is all, have you not learned that the lesson of this series is "I am not a role model for anyone, ever, except maybe as pertains to my crunch-and-push-up routine"?

Hotel room. Cortez, who has a bandage on his right shoulder, dresses and pulls his tools o' torture out of his suitcase. So I guess he totally is Jangles. Intercut with this is Charlie putting on her makeup, and the cross-cut montage is not nearly as clever as the sho wmakers think it is. Not even the flash of Vanessa Ferlito side boob. Cortez's finishing touch… his wire-rimmed glasses, which make him look almost entirely harmless.

Johnny is trying to repair the punctured bounce house so he'll get his deposit back. He and Charlie bicker over who's going to pay for it, and I cannot give a damn about Charlie's problems. Women named Charlie are just not working out for me on TV lately.

Briggs and Jakes park next to the site of the Estate, the burned-down FBI residence. They look for the black Crown Vic, and Jakes says he can put it on a boat leaving LA today. Except the car is nowhere to be found. Jakes finds a shard of glass on the ground and says it looks like the car was stolen, as it's in gang territory.

Mike has also identified the gang that stole the car: the Mongrels. And he's found the car at a gas station in Long Beach. Not being filled up by Briggs, notably. They ID the criminal and his gang as a group who tend to steal cars, use them in a crime, then ditch them. Paige points out Clayton, the criminal, won't have the car much longer. They hope they can get to Clayton through his mom, and since she's not likely to talk to feds, here's Paige's great idea: "You're going to get me pregnant." I really can't believe that sound bite wasn't part of the "next week on Graceland" teaser.

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