Episode Report Card
Erin: A | 2 USERS: A
Dawn Of The Dead Dads
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: It was four months ago, and we learned all about how Peter wound up shirtless in a cargo container and what Adam's agenda is and how the Wonderless Twins were annoying and useless even in the past and how Niki ended up hanging out at The Company. All in all, it was basically a flashback episode that could have been filler, but wound up being relatively compelling. But that's probably just because it ended with Shirtless Peter, which is how EVERY episode should end, really.

We open on Camp Bennet, where the whole crew sans Claire is packing up every last item in preparation for their big migration to yet another safe house. Claire trips down the stairs wearing her adorable blue cheerleader outfit and causes a raised eyebrow from her father. "What're you wearing?" he asks. "A pair of yellow rain boots and a donkey's head, retard -- what's it LOOK like I'm wearing?" she should have responded. Instead, she just informs him that it's her cheerleader uniform, and when he's like, "Uh, you won't be needing that where we're going," Claire just tells her father that she's not going with them: she's decided to stay behind with her flyboy Romeo and listen to more crap music on her cell phone. Bennet's all, "You get up there and take that uniform off or I'll--" And Claire's like, "Or you'll WHAT? Wrap me up in plastic and siphon me off to a dank room somewhere so you can experiment on me and erase my memory and make little hash marks on my neck?" And Bennet's all, "Watch your mouth, little girl!" And Claire's all, "Dude, YOU KIDNAPPED MY BOYFRIEND." This elicits a "WTF" look from Mrs. Bennet and a "WTF are you talking about?" comment from Lyle, who I actually totally forgot existed until just this moment. Where the hell has he been? Maybe his superpower is fading into the background until snarky comments are required? Claire continues going off on her father, saying that he's a bad man and that her mother should stop defending him and there's a big old Mexican standoff in the middle of the kitchen/dining room until, finally, Bennet says that all he wants is for them to have a safe and normal existence. Claire says that it's all about him and the things he's done in the past. Bennet spits that if Claire and West hadn't showboated with that cheertator, none of this would be necessary. Good point. But Claire doesn't see it that way: she thinks Bennet's using her boyfriend as an excuse. She thinks that, no matter what she does, due to her father's past, they'll always be running.

Claire goes to leave, but Bennet orders her to not walk out the door. "What're you gonna do?" she sneers at him. "Tie me up?" Okay, that just doesn't sound right. It sounds even worse when Bennet grabs some duct tape and says, "If I have to." This is turning kinky. Mrs. Bennet puts an end to the potential sexploitation drama by telling her husband to put down the damn duct tape already and stop threatening to tie her daughter to a chair; she then orders Claire to go to school and say goodbye to her friends and come back and start packing. Claire just looks at her father: "I hate you." She leaves, and Bennet realizes that they're well on their way to making his Death Painting become a reality.

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