Heroes
Seven Minutes To Midnight

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The Ballad Of Charlie And Hiro

In L.A., Matt stands in the anonymous white hallway of a depressing government building. Bitchy McFussyPants (seriously, she doesn't even have a name from what I can tell -- the hell?) is swinging her dick around to Audrey: "I need you to handle this. You have one hour." Audrey stomps gracelessly past Matt, who follows her as she barks at him that he's an idiot. "Hello to you too," he mutters. Audrey asks whether Matt thought she wouldn't find out about him "assaulting a fellow officer." Matt argues that he didn't assault the guy: "I just...hit him." "This is why I hate meeting people," says Audrey -- a non sequitur to let us know she is prickly and hard, as if we couldn't already deduce that based on the fact that she is played by Clea Duvall. Anyway, she's not done -- the reason Audrey hates meeting people is that "nine times out of ten, they let you down." Matt snarks at her "optimistic" view of the world, which she counters is "just an observation." Matt asks why she even gives a shit, and she tells him that hitting Tommy was "a stupid rookie move" that could ruin her Sylar investigation. They stop pedeconferencing so that she can ask him how serious the situation is: "Are you getting suspended?" Matt says that he'll work it out. "Did he deserve it?" Audrey asks reluctantly. Matt steadily replies, "Yeah. Yeah, he deserved it." Audrey gives him one parting glare, and they move on.

Ted "Radioactive Man" Sprague sulks in an investigation room. When everything goes up in flames, that bright-orange jumpsuit will be excellent camouflage for him. Studying Ted through a window, Matt asks Audrey if he's talking. She says he isn't, and that he only has an hour to do so "before Homeland Security sends him down a rabbit hole as a suspected terrorist." Between them, Matt and Audrey exposit everything we learned about Ted last week -- his wife, the cancer, the fact that he sets off everyone's Geiger counters not because he handles radioactive material but because he is radioactive material. Frustrated, Audrey spits, "You know, three months ago my job made perfect sense to me. And then I pulled the Sylar case. Crime scenes with no fingerprints, bodies frozen, brains removed -- and now this guy. That's two people" -- she turns from the window to narrow her eyes at Matt -- "make that three people who can do things they just can't explain." Matt takes umbrage that Audrey could think he is like Sylar or Ted, but Audrey basically tells him that there's no time for umbrage and that they have to figure some shit out. As she heads for the door to Ted's holding pen, she hands Matt a little gadget with "DOSIMETRY" ominously written across it, and explains (for those in the audience who are anxiously waiting for the commercial so that they can empty their drool cups) that it measures radiation levels. Matt taps it, and Audrey adds, "As long as that's dark green, we're good." "What's the bad colour?" asks Matt. "Not green," Audrey replies. Ha, I hope there's a scene later where they're like, "It's sort of green; maybe it just doesn't look green because it's next to something green. Put it up next to something white," and then the camera cuts to the dosimeter and it's, like, fluorescent red and growing tentacles -- you know, in homage to the pregnancy-test scene in Singles.

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Heroes

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