Six Months Ago

Episode Report Card
Erin: B+ | Grade It Now!
Wait -- maybe we should go back ANOTHER six months…
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Heroes: Hiro spent most of the episode in the past, trying to save his girlfriend Charlie, so he was missing for most of it; Peter jumped on the world's fastest airplane to travel to Texas to save the cheerleader, only to come up against Sylar on the Greek High School Amphitheatre steps; Sylar killed Jackie the Cheertator because there can only be ONE cheertator around here and that's Claire, dammit!; Claire and Peter met cute, and Peter actually saved her, but he fell to his death beneath the homecoming banner; Claire actually saved Peter when he sucked some of her regenerative powers off of her, but then the cops showed up and arrested him for killing Jackie because, apparently, when you're covered in blood in Odessa, Texas, they don't take too kindly to it; and, finally, Eden and Mindblower intercepted Sylar's escape from the high school, and Eden used her powers of persuasion to snare him in her evil web. Or something.

"To everything there is a season," drones Moyawnder at the top of the episode. "Turn, turn, turn." I'm already bored with his voice-over and it's only six words into it. He says that everything has a purpose, and we get replays of portions of the last nine episodes. Moyawnder talks about everyone trying desperately to not get thrown off the planet. What in the hell is he talking about? "Like the first blush of winter that signals the great migration." What? What the fuck is that? Shut up, Moyawnder. I really hope the writers come up with something better for him to do in the future because these clanking voice-overs are killing my soul. ["Not to mention, Famke Janssen wrote the book on mutant-themed voice-overs in the X-Men movies. Recognize!" -- Joe R] Basically, Moyawnder's introducing this episode by saying that there might have been a warning of the arrival of the Heroes. And that's what this episode is all about, really: the origin of the Heroes. Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, we only receive the vaguest notion of the origins of some of the Heroes instead of a line-by-line explanation, which is kind of what I wanted. But I'm highly anal-retentive.

"Was it a whisper in God's ear?" says Moyawnder. "Survive. Adapt. Escape." He wonders if we knew of the approaching danger, would we have done anything differently? What, like tell Tim Kring to knock it off with the portentously boring intro voice-overs? Because, yeah, I WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL OVER THAT. During Moyawnder's speech, we see most of last week's episode played, so, really, this is like one big "previously" segment with the added bonus of the world's most cryptic and annoying voice-over. Greaaaaat. We end the voice-over with Hiro declaring that he's going to go back in time to save Charlie and, once he's had his requisite time-shifting bowel movement, we're back in the past and it's six months ago.

Hiro's sitting at the same table and Charlie comes over to pour him a cup of coffee. He introduces himself and informs her that he's there to save her life. Charlie's like, uh huh. How 'bout I just pour you this coffee and I go over and enjoy my birthday candles with the rest of the non-crazy people in the place? For utterly no reason whatsoever (other than she's just one of those irrationally friendly people who takes in strays and calls the guy who eats paste and wanders the town square with his underwear on his head a "colorful character"), Charlie beckons Hiro to join her over at her candle-blowing ceremony, and they have their picture taken together. Hiro looks like he's passing a particularly difficult kidney stone in the resulting photo.

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