Heroes

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Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now!
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Like Coyote Sands Through the Hourglass...
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!
We open with Bennet unzipping a body bag and examining "Sylar's" corpse, and oh, what a tease it is for the show to make it look like he's dead. Danko enters and gloats about how he was able to kill Sylar with a metal blade, and Bennet finally gives us an explanation for Sylar's return this chapter as he compliments the choice of a metal weapon and says that last time, Claire used glass, which melted in the Primatech fire, allowing Sylar to regenerate. I still think that's bullshit, because Sylar's brains would have melted into goo long before the glass would have lost its integrity, but Sylar's obviously bound and determined to be the last one standing and annoying me no matter what, so let's move on to where Bennet muses that he chased Sylar for "a long time," and Danko suggests that maybe Bennet didn't really want to catch him. Bennet: "Or maybe you're just better at this than me." Neither of those suppositions seems particularly likely. And speaking of unlikely occurrences, someone pops in to tell Bennet that Sandra is downstairs, and how the hell would she have known the location of Building 26? It's not like Bennet would have shared that information with her even before she threw him out. Anyway, "Danko," taking any opportunity he can get to toss a "fuck you" Bennet's way, tells the woman to send her up. If she's in anywhere near the mood I'm guessing, he may live to regret that decision.

Hiro and Ando are driving an SUV, because I'm sure they have an American driver's license that enabled them to rent a vehicle, and they've also managed to make it from L.A. to Ohio in the time it took to get Sylar's corpse back to Building 26, which means the show is trying to give Gossip Girl a run for its money in terms of bending time and space. At least that sort of thing is supposed to happen on this show, I guess. Ando reports that all of Matt Sr.'s numbers have been disconnected, so Hiro says it's no big deal -- they know Matt's on the East Coast, so they'll just find him when they get there. Look, if you'd just said you were going to D.C., Matt's last-known location, you would have spared me having to make a comment, but you're planning to find him with no problem on the entire East Coast of the United States? I doubt you two could find him if you knew he were on the East Coast of Staten Island! Anyway, Ando asks about Janice, to which Hiro is basically like, "Sucks to be her," so I guess she's not a part of his superhero pipe dreams at the moment, and then Matt Jr. starts that kind of shrieky baby crying that can just cut right through you, and as if to editorialize, the brand-new car (I guess rich Hiro bought it, which makes more sense) dies. The Jaunty Bassoon Of What The Hell Do We Do Now attempts to soften the baby's screams and fails miserably...

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Heroes

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