Law & Order
Personae Non Grata

Episode Report Card
Lauren S: B | Grade It Now!
Web of Love

Meet today's soon-to-be victim, Eric Greenwood. He's bitterly complaining, pacing on the sidewalk and wondering why it is that women love men in uniform. (It's true -- sorry dude, I can't explain it. Though I will say that it's pretty much a guarantee that everything under the uniform is top-grade.) A homeless guy behind him comments that he's a vet, wearing the uniform, and you don't see any women around, and his buddy and I both chuckle. Eric pissily throws out his cigarette and heads to a bar. The next morning, two guys are sitting in a car and begin taking pictures of two other guys who zoom up in a van and start stealing bags of trash and a used sofa. They get out and wave their badges and they are, I kid you not, the Sanitation Police. They tell the guys to drop the sofa but as they do, Eric's bloodied body falls out from inside. If he weren't dead, that would have hurt. Lupo and Bernard arrive and notice he smells like beer -- one of the sanitation cops and his self-professed great observation skills point out that there's a bar on the corner. Even after his humiliation on the stand last week, which came as a direct result of his inexperience, Bernard can feel superior to the "mad observation skills" of these two.

The bartender remembers that Eric was there all night, seemingly waiting for someone (who never arrived) and texting away. The phone they didn't know about was clipped to the computer bag they didn't know about. At his apartment they figure that the laptop was what the murderer was after -- I think they discover this from a cord? I'm not positive, as our clues are extremely neat and fast-paced tonight. Lupo sees a very busty picture of someone he assumes is Eric's girlfriend and a picture of a Marine in full gear. They tell the landlord not to move any of Eric's stuff until they say he can, but he still makes an attempt to steal some car speakers still in the box by claiming that Eric was getting them for him. Let's hope he's a better landlord than thief. But this leads to the fact Eric used to work at a car stereo place. Let's go there, shall we? The guys that work there are all...characters. A little jittery guy working on a car gets into a fight with the guy who runs the office about Office Guy not being Jittery's boss, but they're interrupted by a woman complaining that they put 127 miles on her Mercedes when she left her car there. Office worker is actually named Munson, and the jittery one is Dale. Dale tells them that Eric moved to New York eight months before, that Munson gave him a hard time and made him work extra hours, and that he was thinking about joining the service. He recognizes the photo of the Marine as one Eric found online; he'd asked Dale if he could identify the guy's name and unit. (He couldn't.) And where does Dale's military knowledge come from? Call of Duty 4.

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