Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B+ | Grade It Now!
John 3:16

Mainland; Evening; Church Of The Doubting Escape-Aways: Jack asks Ben if he knew about "this place" and Ben says he didn't, so he turns to Mrs. Hawking and asks if Ben is telling the truth. Love it. She looks up from her desk and shakes her head. "Probably not." Ha. Jack skirts the pendulum as he approaches Hawking, and notices a photo of the island on the wall. It reads "9/23/1954 - U.S. ARMY - OP 264 - TOP SECRET - EYES." If there's anything past that, it's cut off. Jack's rapt attention to the photo makes me wonder if Jack's father or grandfather (we'll meet him in a bit) were ever part of the military operations on Craphole. Blue Binder in hand, Hawking addresses the group, apologizing if what she's about to say is confusing. The audience laughs and laughs and laughs. Good thing she can't hear us, because she strikes me as pretty strict. I mean get a load of her when she realizes Jack is still looking at the photo on the wall. "Let's pay attention, yes?" Jack's so used to people treating him like shit he doesn't even wince. I don't think I would have been so obliging.

Once she's center stage, Hawking begins her back-story. The Lamp Post was constructed years ago over a unique pocket of electro-magnetic energy that connects to similar (hot) pockets all over the world, but the people who had it built were only interested in one -- you guessed it -- Craphole. How did they know about it? How did anyone ever get there and back before there were magical rooms and frozen donkey wheels and Locke's Dad-In-A-Box? Well, Hawking says they'd "gathered proof that it existed" and "knew it was out there." That's all fine and dandy, but HOW? How did people even know about the Hot Pockets to begin with?

Hawking says "a very clever fellow" (Daniel? Pierre Chang? Charles Widmore?) constructed the pendulum mapper on the theory that they should stop looking for where the island is and try to figure out where it was going to be. Desmond's looking on, thinking that he's just going to ignore his time travel dreams from now on, because this is whack, yo. Meanwhile, Jack's all what the flying frick are you talking about, lady, so Eloise explains that the clever fellow theorized that the island was always moving, and he turned out to be right, which is why the Lost-aways were never rescued. And on one hand, I get that. That's how the Black Rock ship ended up in the middle of an island, and probably how the island ended up with polar bears on it, and whatnot, but...but...but...I thought Ben moved the island, and that that was a last resort, but if it was already moving...then...so...HUH? It is not large with the sense making.

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