Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Is Richard Alpert... Myth-taken?

Hospital: Ilana's bandages are off, now. She wants to know what to do after she brings the candidates to the Temple. Jacob tells her that Ricardus will know.

Lostaway Beach: Hurley can't figure out who Ricardus is, which is so fricking pathetic I'll give it no more ink. Ilana turns to the handsome gentleman behind her. "So Richard, what do we do next?" Richard laughs the shortest maniacal laugh I've ever heard, and says that Jacob is a lying liar who lies. He'd like to tell the Jacobites to go to Hell, but in his opinion, they're already dead and there. Really. Richard Alpert thinks they're all in Hell. He adds that he's going to stop listening to Jacob and start listening to someone else. He picks up a torch and storms off. Title card.

Theme Song!

After the break, Ilana prepares to go after Richard, but Jack says why bother, since Richard doesn't know what to do next. Ilana insists that Richard must know, because Jacob told her he would. Jack, who is new to acknowledging futility, handles Ilana pretty well. He points out that Richard, who thinks they're in Hell, is completely out of his mind. As Ilana returns to the campfire, Jack asks who Richard's "someone else" is. Ben: "Oh, this should be interesting." Hee! Sun answers: "He meant Locke." When Jack's all um, Locke's dead; I put my father's shoes on his cold, dead feet, Ben allows that Faucke isn't exactly Locke. Sing it with me, Buffy fans: If we want him to be exactly... he'll never be exactly... I know. The only really real Locke is really Locke and he's gone -- who?

It's then that Jack spies Hurley talking to an invisible friend at the tree-line, he wanders over, figuring Jacob has stopped in for some green beans and bananas, or whatever is passing for hospitality on Lostaway Beach these days. As Jack approaches, we hear Hurley speaking in Spanish. At first, Jack thinks Hurley is lying when he says his invisible friend isn't Jacob, but Hurley stands his ground. Jack: "Then who is it?" Hurley: "Sorry Jack, but this has nothing to do with you." Heh -- and I say that as someone who loves Jack.

Miles watches in wide-eyed wonder as Hurley follows after Richard with confidence and purpose. Ben turns his attention to Ilana, and tells her that Jack is right -- going after Richard is a waste of time, as he doesn't know anything. When Ilana asks why he's so certain, Ben says, "I've known him since I was 12 years old; that should count for something." Frank makes some comment about Richard and Ben meeting when they were kids so that Ben can play exposition fairy. "No, Frank. I was a kid. Richard looked just like he does today." Only with a really bad hairdo. Frank: "So you're saying this guy doesn't age?" Ben: "That's exactly what I'm saying." Frank: "And how the Hell do you think that happened?" Me: "Sit tight, Frank. We're about to find out."

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