All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues

Episode Report Card
Dan Kawa: D+ | 3 USERS: A-
There's Nothing Autoerotic About Autoerotic Asphyxiation
Jack and Locke follow the trail. "How does one man drag off two people, one of them pregnant?" asks Jack. "You're asking the wrong question," replies Locke. "Not how. Why?" Locke, there's no such thing as a stupid question. There is such a thing as a stupid answer, though, and that was one. They bicker a bit about what this all means vis-à-vis Sayid's revelation that they're not alone on Craphole Island, until Jack asks which way Claire and Charlie went. Locke makes a good case for going back to the caves and organizing a search party, but Jack wants to know which way they went right now. Locke points, and Jack runs off that way, his sprinting melting into a...

FlashJack! We're in an operating room. The makers of Lost, eager to give their hospital scenes a different feel than ER's, have replaced that show's circle-around-the-table shot with a series of shaky close-ups, which I'm not convinced is an improvement. Jack seems to be operating on a woman who's not doing well; her blood pressure is dropping while Jack tries to seal up an artery. As Jack finishes, the patient goes into cardiac arrest. They bring over the defibrillators and zap her a couple of times, to no avail. Jack tries some chest compressions, muttering, "Come on, come on," as the rest of the surgical staff looks on uncertainly. Finally another doctor tells Jack to "call it," to declare the patient dead; the other doctor is, of course, Jack's father. "It's over, Jack," he says. Jack strips off his mask and Kenneth Cole safety glasses and says to his father, "You call it."

The Rape Caves. Kate reports to Locke that no one on the beach has seen Charlie or Claire. She also tells him that -- wait, no, seriously -- you'll never -- she's coming with him. "I thought you might," Locke replies. Heh. Shannon and Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity approach, Shannon pleading with her brother to get their water and get back to the beach. Instead, Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity volunteers for the search party, just to get five minutes of peace away from that harridan. "We're on a deserted island," Shannon says. "No choppers, no Amber Alert." It's cute that Shannon actually cares about her brother. Or maybe what's actually cute is that gray tank top she's wearing. Locke agrees to bring Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity along.

Walt suggests bringing Vincent, which seems like a fucking great idea to me, but no one follows up. Boy, Vincent has gone from being a cool character to being a boring one. What once seemed mysterious and complex -- his inscrutable face, his habit of popping up unexpectedly -- now just make him seem like a furrier Kate. Meanwhile, Mercutio offers his help to Locke, who bewilderingly claims that one more person would slow them down. He suggests that Mercutio go south, which is exactly the direction they know Claire and Charlie didn't go. To add insult to insult, Walt looks at him like he's the biggest doofus in the world.

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