All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues

Episode Report Card
Dan Kawa: D+ | 3 USERS: A-
There's Nothing Autoerotic About Autoerotic Asphyxiation
Locke ties a scrap of red t-shirt to a tree, explaining that that's how they'll mark their progress as they search. Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity asks if Locke doesn't think he'll be able to find his way back, and Locke points out he won't if he's dead. Jack and Kate show up, Jack annoyed that Locke seems to think they need a break. The point of this episode and all the flashbacks is to garner up more sympathy for Jack by showing the degree to which he's "driven," but the net effect on me is to make me think he's behaving like a big jerk again, just like in the pilot. Kate notices too, and calls Jack aside, asking him if it would kill him to give Locke a little space. "It might," Jack says. He's not even engaging in a real conversation here, just peevishly snapping at whatever she says. In debate club, they call that the Snapping Turtle defense. Jack and Kate play a little game called "Let's find the subtext!" with their next three lines.

Kate: "Stop that!"
Subtext: "Stop being a dick."

Jack: "What?"
Subtext: "I love being a dick."

Kate: "That."
Subtext: "Dick."

Kate asks what's going on, and Jack explains that he didn't believe Claire's initial claims that she was being attacked -- the point being, of course, that now his guilt is driving him to find Claire. It's also all tied up with his guilt about the dead surgical patient, but don't worry if you don't quite get the connection; just bear in mind that Jack is frigging tortured, dude. Their convo is interrupted by a shout from the others; they've discovered that Charlie's left behind something to mark his trail: an elven brooch! Er, one of those dirty pieces of tape he wraps around his fingers!

Commercials. More scenes from this movie starring Dennis Quaid as Jack and Giovanni Ribisi as Locke, maybe, or -- God forbid -- Kate. Each scene makes me want to see the movie less than the last. Had they never advertised this film, they'd have had a better chance getting me through the door.

Back inna jungle, the trail has split. In one direction, Jack's found another elven brooch; in another, Locke has found footprints. Kate posits that Ethan might know they're after him and might be leaving a dummy trail. Oh, Kate, dear-heart: every trail you walk on is a dummy trail. Zing! "Now you're a tracker?" asks Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity. "You're just full of surprises," says Locke. Jack wants to split up; Locke thinks it's better to stay together. Jack overrules Locke, of course, and Jack and Kate head one direction, Locke and Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity the other.

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