All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues

Episode Report Card
Dan Kawa: D+ | 3 USERS: A-
There's Nothing Autoerotic About Autoerotic Asphyxiation
Hot On the Other Trail, Jack and Kate find another elven brooch. Then we hear Claire's echoing screams coming from nearby, and Jack takes off running through the rain, despite the fact that Kate seems not to have heard them. They try to pull themselves up a rise via slippery vine; that works as well as you might think, and Jack lands face-down in the mud by a big puddle. He looks up to see Ethan, who is literally angry with rage! "If you do not stop following me," Ethan says, "I will kill one of them." He kicks Jack, and says, "Do you understand?" Nope! I don't think he does, Ethan! He needs more kickin'! Luckily, Ethan is ready to oblige, as he opens up not just a can, but a Heineken keg-can of whoop-ass on Jack: two shots to the face, a dodge of Jack's wild swing, a whack in the stomach, and another punch to the head that sends Jack face-down into the big puddle. "No more warnings," he says, and knocks Jack out. Bad-ass!

Commercials. The President wants you to be careful frying your turkey.

FlashJack! Our Lady of Perpetual Lowered Inhibitions Hospital. Jack sees his father talking to an irate-looking gentleman; a discussion with a nurse reveals that it's the dead woman's husband, who's threatening to sue. Apparently Jack's dad talks him down, because when we see him last, he's crying and Jack's dad is rubbing his shoulder.

The puddle. A frantic Kate wakes Jack up, and he immediately disregards Ethan's seemingly genuine warnings and starts the chase again. "Not again!" he shouts.

FlashJack! Our Lady Looks Pretty Hot Through The Bottom Of This Highball Hospital. It's an administrative hearing of some kind; Jack's dad (whose name is "Christian") is spinning his web of lies for the review board, who seem to buy it just fine. They ask, however, if Jack's dad was aware the patient was pregnant. "Absolutely," he says, though Jack's expression suggests this is not the case. But, uh, who cares? I mean, why would he lie here? It is his fault if he's operating drunk, but it's not his fault if no one in the ER told him the woman was pregnant. As a precipitating event for Jack's sudden attack of conscience, this revelation lacks oomph. But of course, the dead woman's pregnancy dovetails with Claire's pregnancy, so for a writer desperate to make a fundamentally square character seem multifaceted and cool, that's enough to build a whole dramatic confrontation around. And so Jack suddenly about-faces and reveals to all and sundry that his dad is a drunken failure who never really loved him.

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