Deus Ex Machina

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | Grade It Now!
Immaculate misconception
Previously on Lost: Locke was in a wheelchair, and he yelled a whole lot at people who tried to tell him what he couldn't do, although we don't get to see Dave Grohl again. And then the plane crashes, and he can walk! And his new leg-utilizing hobbies include digging out mysterious metal hatches in the middle of jungles, and serving as a mentor/father figure/sower of sexual-identity doubt for Boone.

We start already in the flashback this time around, in a scene that provides another reason why Locke maybe isn't in such a big hurry to get off the island. Before working at Dave Grohl's Box, Belittlement & Beyond, he worked at a Costco/Wal-Mart/Wall-Mart/Sprawl-Mart-type store. We know it's before, because Locke has the use of his legs, and apparently one of his old hobbies was wearing hilarious toupees -- although I suppose it's possible that the toupee actually looks really good, and it's just us being used to Locke's baldness. Locke's one of the lucky white guys who can go entirely bald and not look like a giant thumb, as is my father-in-law. I suspect I fall on the "giant thumb" side of that particular balance sheet, which is why I'm glad that I haven't had to do the male-pattern-baldness preemptive-strike shaving-my-head thing. When I was in college, and I started seeing a few more hairs on my pillow than normal, I thought I was going to George Constanza-fy inside of five years. I'm happy to report that hasn't happened; still got full coverage up there, even if my high-school hairline was a little stronger.

Sorry for digressing. I'm out of practice with this whole "recapping" thing. I even tried recapping my wedding video, but after too many complaints about the soundtrack, the supporting cast, and the lighting, I'm no longer married.

Anyway, Locke's working at the store, setting up a game of Mousetrap. This game attracts the attention of a boy who wanders over and wants to know what it is, and Locke explains how to play the game, which is his favourite game, one that he used to play with his brother. All the pieces start off the board, and bit by bit it all comes together, until bang! You're hit by an anvil!

Locke notices that he's being watched by Swoosie Kurtz, which I note with immediate indifference. She'd totally be a Hey! It's That Guy, if her name wasn't so annoyingly memorable. Did you know her dad was an air force colonel? It's true. Colonel Kurtz, I swear to god. The horror, the horror!

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