Deus Ex Machina

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | Grade It Now!
Immaculate misconception

Locke and his daddy are hunting doves, which seems kind of mean. Cooper's wearing some stupid-looking beret, and telling Locke that the doves can move faster than you think, so you really have to lead them. And Locke seems to have gotten pretty good at hunting really quickly, if you can call picking off defenceless doves "hunting," as he pegs one right away. Cooper starts laying things on a little thick, saying that Locke's mother may have had her problems, but at least she brought them together, while they still have time. He gives Locke a long look. He might as well wince, clutch his back, and say, "Ow, my kidney!" he's being so obvious.

Boone's now got Locke's arms draped around his shoulders as he helps him through the jungle. Wow, the fun times never end when you hang out with Locke, do they? They take a break and flop down on the jungle floor. Boone explains that this Theresa was his nanny. He resented his mom for never being around, so he took it out on the nanny, by repeatedly calling her up the stairs to his bedroom. "One day she took a bad step, broke her neck. I was six." Okay then. Doesn't explain the "Theresa falls up the stairs," does it? Locke starts to laugh, which understandably ticks Boone off. He demands to know what's so funny. Locke just points over Boone's shoulder. There, behind them, is the plane, hanging off a cliff, suspended in the trees. Hilarious! Commercials.

Boone asks Locke if that's the plane he saw. Does that matter, Boone? If Locke says, "Nah, I saw a single-prop," are you going to go all nuts over the symbols and visions again? Boone wonders how long it's been there, and Locke says it doesn't matter, but what does matter is that they found it, and what's inside it. "What is inside it, Locke?" asks Boone, as if he thinks Locke knows the answer, which isn't unreasonable of him, I don't think. Locke tells him he's going to have to climb up there to find out.

I can't help but notice that Locke has yet to say anything to Boone about the part of his vision that included Boone all covered in blood. Of course, Boone seems skeptical enough about climbing up there, but he does it without a word. ["I got the feeling the writers forgot that part too." -- Sars]

Hospital (that, for the kidney-selling scam theory to work, has to be in on the whole thing -- it's called Occam's razor, people. Look into it). Locke and his dad are in separate beds, holding hands. Locke apparently can't hear every viewer yelling, "Don't do it!" Cooper says there's still time to change his mind, but Locke says it's too late because they've already shaved his back, like, thanks for that exquisite little mental image, and then Cooper says he's really thankful for Locke, who says that this was meant to be. The nurses wheel in a bed to transport them to the OR. "See you on the other side," says Cooper, "or perhaps you'll be in an ice bath in a seedy motel somewhere. Also, I wouldn't use the toothbrush I leave behind."

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