Deus Ex Machina

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | Grade It Now!
Immaculate misconception

Back in the hospital, Locke's waking up after surgery. He turns his head to his father's bed, which is empty. The doctor or nurse examining him says, "I think what you did was so kind." He asks after his father. She says she didn't know they were related, and Locke says only that they have different last names. She says that Mr. Cooper checked out already and is back home in private care. "That doesn't make any sense," says Locke, and I have to agree that someone being allowed to leave a hospital right after a kidney transplant, private care or no, makes no sense. The rest of this, though? Not such a surprise. Locke asks if Cooper left a message for him. She says not that she knows of, then leaves to get him some juice. Locke tries to sit up a little more, which is painful. Then he hears, "It was his idea." He looks over, sees Mommie Dearest. "What are you doing here?" he says. She explains that she needed money, and that Locke's father has always been good that way, very generous. So generous that rather than give his baby-mama money, he forces her to help him SCAM HIS SON OUT OF A KIDNEY. Locke's surprised to hear her admit that he even has a father, and she says that it was part of the plan to make Locke willingly give up the kidney; it had to be his own idea. "I wanted to see you," she says. Locke starts muttering, "This can't happen, he wouldn't do this to me," things of that nature. Even though everybody saw this coming, this was still heartbreaking to watch. He looks over at his dad's empty bed. "He wouldn't do this to me!" he shouts, and struggles to his feet, despite the pain. His stupid psycho mom is still completely oblivious, as she beams at him. Locke gives her the stink-eye, and I can only assume that he beat her to death, even if they don't show that.

Instead, we go right to Locke pulling up at the security gates, yelling for his father. An embarrassed Eddie tells him that "Mr. Cooper's not seeing guests." Locke gets out of his car, and pleads with Eddie to open the gate. Eddie asks him to move his car, so Locke walks up to the gate (bloodstains visible on the back of his T-shirt), looks at the security camera. "I know you're watching me," he whispers. "You can't do this." Eddie asks him again to move his car. Locke gets back in, drives off, having a good yell and banging the rearview mirror and steering wheel, before collapsing in sobs on the steering wheel.

And it's dark on Craphole Island. An enraged Locke is crouched on top of the hatch, crying and banging. "I've done everything you wanted me to do!" he yells. "So why did you do this?" And then -- a light goes on. And the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I love it when that happens.

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