Deus Ex Machina

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Daniel: B+ | Grade It Now!
Immaculate misconception

Over coffee, Locke tells Swoosie that he's not sure why she thinks he's her son or how she found him, and she brightly asks if he wasn't adopted. No, actually, says Locke, quietly telling her that he grew up in a succession of foster homes. She seems genuinely surprised and dismayed by this. "Look, I don't mean to be rude. What do you want from me?" She says that she wanted to tell him that he's special. Very special. Echoes of Walt. "You're part of a design. You do realize that, don't you?" She tells him that their meeting is a sign of great things to come. Man, I can't imagine being given up for adoption and being found by my birth mom many years later, only to find out she's batshit crazy. ["There's a 'some of our batshit-crazy birth moms just up and kept us' joke here, but I'm tired, so y'all can sort it out yourselves." -- Sars] Locke asks about his father. "Is he still alive?" "Still alive?" asks Swoosie, confused. "Don't you understand? You don't have a father! You were immaculately conceived!" Locke's quiet, pondering delicate ways to inquire about the hereditary likelihood of batshit craziness.

Back on the island, Sawyer stomps up to Sun, who's tending her garden. He's holding two varieties of leaf. "Which one?" he yells. How nice that, even after everyone knows she speaks English, Sawyer still feels the need to shout at the Asian woman to make himself understood. She points at one of the leaves, and he asks if she's sure, because that's the one he's using and he's getting no results. Try rolling them a little tighter, Sawyer. "I'm sorry it's not helping," says Sun. "What's not helping?" says the island's nosiest bank robber, Kate. Sawyer gruffly says that nothing's the matter, then thanks Sun anyway, compliments her garden, and stalks off. Having already been told once that it's none of her business, Kate decides to try again, this time asking Sun what Sawyer's deal is. Sun, perhaps thrilled that she can babble away in English whenever she wants now, shoots her mouth off and says that Sawyer's having headaches. Kate asks if Sawyer doesn't have a truckload of aspirin stashed somewhere. "He says aspirin didn't help," says Sun. Kate thinks about how she can use this to her best meddling advantage.

She goes to see Jack (big surprise) in the bathroom section of his cave, where Jack is shaving. "Say you're having really bad headaches, every day," says Kate, and Jack, assuming she's doing that "my friend" routine that people use with doctors sometimes, asks if she's all right. So who are we talking about, asks Jack. Kate, who smiles all the time when she's delivering her lines for some reason, says it's Sawyer. "I just think there might be something really wrong with him," she says. Something more wrong than normal, I guess she means. Jack asks what Sawyer thinks. "He says he's fine, but..." says Kate, and Jack interrupts to say that then Sawyer is fine. Kate says she thinks Sawyer's playing it down. Jack says he'd like nothing more than to check Sawyer out and see if he's not got a screw or two loose somewhere, but all he's going to get for his trouble is a "snappy one-liner" and, if he's lucky, maybe a new nickname. Shit, what a crybaby. My GP, Dr. Crustyface, never complains about that, as far as I know. "I'm just over it," says Jack.

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