Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A+ | Grade It Now!
Ob La Di, Ob La Da Life Goes On, Brothah

Hydra Island: Des wakes up in the shed looking at the hand Sideways Penny just shook in the other reality -- another lifetime. He seems surprised to learn he was only unconscious for a few seconds. Do you think he experienced everything we just did in the Sideways? More? Less? At any rate, Charles apologizes for having to subject Desmond to the test. He says, though, that Des's talents are vital to his mission. He wants a chance to explain, and our damnable Special Snowflake Scotsman cuts him off. Seems he doesn't need explanations. It seems he already understands. Well, bully for you Des, but the rest of us maybe would have liked to hear it. Not our Des, though. "You brought me here to the island to do something very important. When do we start?" Charles looks upon him with admiration. I look for Sun's stubborn tomato, to throw at my TV, but I think the wee Jack who lives in my medicine chest snuck out and made a marinara sauce out of it, for him and my daughter's brunette Fugitive Barbie. Wee Jack, you don't have to work that hard. Those Barbies have been lying naked in a puppy pile for years, with only a couple of Kens to tend to their needs, and seeing as you're a doctor, you must know about Ken's rare medical condition, right?

ANYhow...As Zoe and the Widmorons move Des through the jungle, she wants to know what happened to change Desmond from a wild man bent on escape, to the calm soul of cooperation standing before her. She doesn't get much of an answer though, because the whole band is accosted by Sayid, who um...dispatches the men rather quickly and then orders Zoe to run. Once they're alone, Sayid tells Des that the Widmorons are extremely dangerous. Pottle. Kettle. Fishcakes. "We need to go, now." Des, as relaxed as he was during his last conversation with Widmore, says, "Aye, of course. Lead the way." WHAAAAAA?!

Sideways: Desmond has passed out. When he wakes, he asks Penny what happened. She says she shook his hand and he fainted. "I must have quite an effect on you." Oh yes, Pen. Yes, you do. She asks if they've met before. Loaded question, that. Des says he would have remembered if they had. Loaded answer, too. She double checks that he's okay, and once he insists he is, he invites her out for coffee. Penny tries to beg off, pointing out that she's a sweaty mess. Oh Pen, Des wants to make you a sweaty mess, anyhow. His response is more diplomatic than that. He says he just fainted in front of her, so he figures they're even. Penny agrees to meet him at a coffee shop on the corner of Sweetzer and Melrose, in an hour. I wonder if Sawyer and Juliet will be there. Juliet and Jack? Anyhow, once Penny is gone, Des exhales and returns to his limo, and to George, who asks, "So, did you find what you were looking for?" Des smiles. "Yes, George, I did. Corner of Melrose and Sweetzer, please." George: "You got it, and if there's anything else I can do for you, Mr. Hume, you just name it." Desmond leans forward. "Actually, there is one thing, George. Can you get me the manifest from my flight from Sydney -- Oceanic 815 -- just the names of the passengers?" George: "Sure, I can. Do you mind if I ask what you need it for?" Des sits back. "I just need to show them something." DUN! Bad robot.

It's been days, and I'm still stuck in the BEST EPISODE EVAH phase, so I'll spare you my gushing. It's Desmond and Penny. It's perfect and I love it like chocolate (before dinner). Since it's getting to where I'm afraid to even mention the episode titles here, I'll just note that I'll see you here Wednesday morning, with the next recaplet. Until then, please join us in the forums, where we seldom test you with electro-magnetism.

Got theories, complaints, compliments? Send them to Cindy at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com, or follow her on Twitter.

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