Hearts And Minds

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Daniel: B- | Grade It Now!
Pure guava

Then Boone tracks down his ringing cell phone. It's Shannon, telling him that things are "not so good." Boone reacts like this is not the first time he's had this sort of conversation with Shannon. But it's her screaming at someone else to get out of here that has him a little more concerned, and he tells her to tell him where she is, and he'll come get her. And where is she? "Sydney," she says, and Boone doesn't say anything, and she adds, "Australia."

Back on Craphole Island, Boone approaches Sayid, who's apparently done either hitting on Shannon, or becoming best friends forever with her. "Stay away from my sister," he says. Sayid considers this for a moment, then says, "For a moment you seemed to be giving me an order," with a hint of a smile. I can hardly blame him, since he's used to taking orders from someone slightly more menacing than the guy who gave us "Another Velvet Morning." Boone calls it a "friendly suggestion," even though his high-intensity stink-eye says otherwise. Sayid wants to know what happens if he doesn't, in fact, stay away from Shannon, but before Boone can say anything, his boyfriend Locke yells that he's found some "fresh tracks down by the stream." "See you later," says Boone, as menacingly as he possibly could to a torturer of the Iraqi National Guard. "You know where to find me," says Sayid, managing not to crack up.

So Boone and Locke traipse through the jungle and, judging from how many scenes dissolve into one another, spend the whole trek talking about Sayid. Locke tells Boone that he has to put aside his differences with Sayid, because "we're going to want him on our side." Boone's primarily annoyed that Sayid's hitting on Shannon, but changes the subject to the fact that people are talking about what they're doing out there, since they're not coming back with any boar. Locke says that fruit and fish are plentiful (funny, though, that Kate was apparently in the darkest regions of the jungle last week because the trees were stripped clean, huh?), and what Boone and Locke are currently doing is far more important than hunting boar. And they clear away the foliage over the hatch in the ground, which is going to be their super-secret hideout. No girls allowed! "Right now, this is our priority," says Locke. Commercials.

Blockbuster? Get over yourselves. You know you're just trying to avoid another class-action suit.

Hurley's plucking leaves from plants in the jungle as Jack strolls by. Hurley starts blabbering about nothing in particular in a way that Jack, as a doctor, is probably already familiar with as the technique adopted by the person at cocktail parties looking for free medical advice. And sure enough, Hurley confesses that he hasn't been feeling great and has been having some "major digestive issues," and I'll thank Hurley in advance for not going into much more detail than that. He lists all the tropical flora he's been feasting on. And while I'm not doubting that Hurley's more than a little unhappy with the food supply, given his complaint to Boone a moment ago, I gotta think he's more interested in having Jack pressure the supposed boar-hunters to produce a little more pork, since Jack suggests more protein, and Hurley immediately points out that there's no boar. Jack reminds Hurley that he can also get protein from fish, and Jin has been catching plenty of that. Hurley contends, however, that Jin has it out for him, ever since Hurley turned down Jin's first offer of fish. "It's like I soiled his family honour or something," says Hurley. And falling back on Asian stereotypes is a sure way to mend that fence, hey, Hurley? Jack points at the leaves Hurley's collecting and wants to make sure he's not eating those. "Dude, these aren't for eating," says Hurley, who then excuses himself. Jack smiles, even though I for one would like to say that next time the writers are considering how much reference in the script to make to Hurley's bowel movements, I'm voting for less.

Kate's wandering through the jungle, collecting food or something at ground level, which must have grown back since last week, when she was compelled to take to the trees. Jack's wandering by. With the backpack, he looks for all the world, even with the substantial beard he's got going, like he's on his way to school. He spies Kate, and watches her for a moment, until she smiles and says she knows he's there. "I wasn't hiding," he protests, and says he just didn't want to interrupt "whatever it is" that she's doing. She says it's not like it's a secret, and he smilingly says that it's hard to tell with her sometimes, and they're smiling at each other and just in general acting like they weren't practically at each other's throats last week, like did we skip an episode?

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