Hearts And Minds

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | Grade It Now!
Pure guava

Back on Craphole Island, Hurley's chasing Jin down (well, not really -- that really wouldn't be much of a race) and apologizing for the sea urchin thing. Hurley, it should be said, is carrying a makeshift spear, and Jin is draped in nets. Hurley says he's not looking for any special favours, but he wants to know where Jin gets the fish, and Hurley will take care of his own business with his own tools. Jin seems to understand what Hurley is getting at, but he laughs and says something in Korean that clearly is something along the lines of, "Go home, boy."

Back in the jungle, Boone's saying that they need to tell the rest of the castaways what they're really doing out there, since nobody's going to believe they're hunting boar when they keep coming home completely boarless. Locke, whose island shaman routine wore thin for me ages ago, says that "they're not ready." Boone says he at least wants to tell his sister. "Why do you care about her so much?" says Locke, which is a really weird question to ask someone in response to their saying, "She's my sister." Boone says, "You don't know her, man. She's smart and special in a lot of ways." Ohhhh-kayyyy. Locke, who's getting a justifiably creepy vibe from Boone over this, just says, "Fair enough," and keeps walking. ["I'd have gone with 'name one,' but whatever." -- Sars] Boone insists that Shannon can keep a secret, and he can't keep lying to her, and Locke finally submits to the unrelenting barrage of irritation that is Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Humanity, and asks him if he's sure he wants to do this: "Are you sure you've thought through the ramifications?" Boone says that he has. "So be it," says Locke, and Boone merrily continues back to the beach. Only Locke whips out one of his 400 knives and cracks Boone in the back of the head with the butt end of it.


When Halls advises us to "cut the carbs" with their sugar-free lozenges, I start crying. Yeah, switch to sugar-free Halls, and the pounds will melt right off!

So Boone's tied up, and this isn't even fan fiction. His right arm's in front and his left arm is in back (although I've heard that there's a problem continuity-wise, in that the shot of his left arm is actually a shot of a right arm. I'd check the tape myself, but I won't, because a) my attractive non-lawyer future wife and I have dance lessons tonight so I don't have time, b) I imagine it's just a mistake and not some kind of clue, and c) after this episode I angrily gave the tape to my Great Dane and she chewed it beyond all functionality, and it will never record another Lost episode, nor, more's the pity, Nigella Bites), and they're lashed together so that when he reaches forward with his right, it draws his left arm up, excruciatingly so, his back. And there sits Locke, mashing up some more paste. Something tells me "later" is now. Boone orders Locke to untie him, and it probably won't surprise you to learn that Locke ignores him. So Boone tries pleading, saying he won't tell anyone about the hatch. "I'm doing this, Boone, because it's time for you to let go of some things, because it's what's best for you. And I promise you're gonna thank me for this later." He approaches Boone and starts smearing the paste stuff on Boone's head wound. Boone struggles as best he can and wants to know what Locke's doing. "An untreated wound out here, you 're gonna get infected," says Locke. In hindsight, it should have occurred to me on first viewing that Locke was mixing up his paste long before Boone had any kind of head wound to allegedly smear it on.

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