Hearts And Minds

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Daniel: B- | Grade It Now!
Pure guava

Anyway, Locke's strolling away, with Boone screaming that Locke can't just leave him here. That sounds like a wager to me! Locke says whether Boone stays or not is up to him. I guess, in that sense, freeing himself from being tied up in a jungle full of dangerous predators is just as easy as kicking heroin, hey? Locke takes out another one of his knives, and Boone's eyes widen in fear. Locke, however, just throws it into the ground in front of him. "You'll be able to cut yourself free once you have the proper motivation," says Locke, who walks away.

Extra-special fish-eye lens does a nice job of making the trees seem impossibly tall and dense, as Boone struggles to free himself, reaching for the knife. Luke Skywalker did it better. Of course, Luke had that whole Force thing going for him. So Boone tries yelling for help.

We flashback to an Australian police officer refusing to help Boone, who has apparently dropped in on Oz P.D. to get the cops after Shannon's Bad Boyfriend. "Unfortunately, sir, we'll need a little more to go on," the officer says. Shannon's shrieking into the phone and has bruises, and the cops need a little more to check it out? Boone says she's with a psycho and Shannon just happens to be attracted to the wrong kind of guy (I have to say, if I were the cop, hearing that Shannon is "attracted to the wrong kind of guy" wouldn't really convince me to move this higher on the priority list). A ruckus momentarily distracts them; it's Sawyer, being forcibly hauled into the station, and yelling, "It was his bottle, I was just giving it back!" and setting back Americo-Australianian relations years with his croc hunter comments. Unhelpful Aussie Cop says that if Shannon were dating someone like that, then he could help, like, how NOT HELPFUL is this guy if he thinks that maybe Boone wants to hear him making jokes about the situation.

Anyway, that cop wants to continue going through the motions, and notes that although Boone said Shannon was his sister, her last name is Rutherford and his is Carlisle. Boone says that Shannon had been married, but isn't anymore. And he adds that she's his stepsister. "No blood relation," says the cop, like, WE ALL KNOW WHAT STEPSISTER MEANS, THANK YOU. Boone seems to get the idea that the lack of blood relation is making the cop even less inclined to listen to him, so he tries invoking his mother's name, Sabrina Carlisle, because, you know, what's the point in being the son of the owner of the largest wedding companies in the U.S. if it doesn't open a few doors with Australian cops? Inappropriately Joking Aussie Cop asks if Boone wants to buy his wife's wedding dress. All Boone wants is for someone to pay Bryan a visit, but the cop says that they can't without physical evidence or a complaint from Shannon herself. "Sadly, we're the police, not the dating police," he says, like, I'd hate to see how this guy handles the families of murder victims.

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