Hearts And Minds

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | Grade It Now!
Pure guava

Now we're down at a marina, where Bryan apparently has the job of deck hoser-offer, which is what he's doing when Boone shows up, ordering him to break up with Shannon. Bryan ain't having it, but Boone informs him that he'll be the third guy Boone's paid off. He wants Bryan to go to the house when Shannon isn't there and pack his things and leave, and Boone will pay him $25,000 to do so. "I love her," says Bryan. "How much?" asks Boone. "My love for her?" says Bryan, indignantly. "It's closer to $50,000." Boone writes out the cheque.

Back at the garden, Kate's asking Sun if she can believe they've been stranded for three weeks. Then she catches herself as she remembers that Sun can't understand English. And then she continues to blather on anyway, saying that she was supposed to be visiting Bali, because she was "looking forward to exploring the island," but she wound up on a plane to L.A. instead. And can I just ask why, if Kate is blabbing away for her own therapeutic value instead of conversational value, is she fudging the truth of her situation? "Guess that falls under the category of 'be careful what you wish for,'" says Kate, which draws a smile from Sun, at least until she looks over and sees Kate's shocked expression. "You understood me," says Kate. Sun says nothing, hoping Kate will forget this, which, considering how quickly various plots and people are forgotten on this island, ain't such a bad strategy. But in the face of Kate's relentless badgering, Sun finally admits it and asks Kate not to tell anyone.

You know what? I can't even do justice to this next scene. Jin and Hurley are fishing, with Jin having much greater success than Hurley, who seems to have attached some fabric to two sticks for a makeshift net. It appears to be less good for catching fish than for making Hurley fall over in the water. Even Jin's enjoying the spectacle, when he's not too busy hauling so many fish from the water that he's depleting the island fish stocks faster than Newfoundland depleted the cod.

So Hurley gives up, but as he's stomping onto the beach, he puts his foot right down on, apparently, a sea urchin. And Hurley isn't one to suffer in silence. He begins howling like his skin is being ripped right off. Jin rushes to his aid, and undertakes the daunting task of hauling Hurley from the ocean, setting him down on the sand. "You're going to have to pee on my foot, man. It'll stop the venom! I saw it on TV!" yells Hurley, who then spends the better part of thirty seconds trying to make himself understood, much to Jin's chagrin, as all Hurley does is yell, "Pee on it!" over and over again and grab at Jin's crotch. Jin might or might not be hiding the fact, as his wife is, that he actually speaks English, but this scene ain't proof, even with Jin finally just yelling "no!" a couple of times at the end. If Hurley were frantically grabbing at my crotch and yelling in a language I didn't understand, I'd certainly be saying "no" in all the languages I can possibly think of.

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