Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 1 USERS: A+
Ben, The Two Of Us Need Look No More
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Did that just happen? Can it? I mean, really. Where's Daniel with the playbook? We need rules - borders - an end zone. What am I talking about? Well, hop aboard. We're going off the rails on a crazy train.

Previously, on Lost: Baby Ben meets Richard in the jungle. Ben wants to go with Guyliner, who tells him he'll have to think about it and be patient. Adult Ben asks Sayid whether or not he wants to protect his friends. On a golf course, Sayid tells Peter Avellino, "I am Sayid Jarrah. [You did something that probably has nothing to do with killing my father.] Prepare to die." Then he shoots him. Jack sees bounty hunter Ilana leads a cuffed Sayid through the Ajira Air terminal. There's a FLASH! Jin finds Sayid wandering in Grid 325. Once Radzinsky catches up, Jin plays it all hard-ass. While languishing in a Dharma Initiative cell, wee Benjamin Linus brings Sayid a sandwich and a question. "Are you a hostile?" Sayid asks what the boy thinks. The boy asks his name. Sayid obliges and asks the same question. The boy says, "I'm Ben." Sayid says, "It's...nice to meet you, Ben."

Tikrit, Iraq; A Chicken Coop: No. Really. A big, mean father drags a pretty, soft-faced boy outside of a house and yells at him in what I presume to be Arabic, but I swear I heard a "sonnovabitchin" in there, so who knows? I can see it now. The producers were all, "They want how much for an Arabic speaking day player, and translator for our writers? Oh get out!" They grab the next tan extra they see. "We're making it for an American audience; they'll never know the difference, anyhow. Daddy issues are the universal language. If you believe what you're 'saying' they'll buy it." It seems the dad wants his son to act like a man and... choke the chicken. Boundaries, hello? Since the old guy has a big-ass meat cleaver in his hands, if I were the boy and in possession of boy-parts, I would be inclined to listen. But I'm getting unfairly transfer-y.

The father hands the boy the cleaver, and tells him he can't come back in the house until he's slain dinner, then stomps back inside, slamming the door behind him. Once the father's inside, the boy's younger brother approaches. He's smaller, slighter, and even prettier. He puts his hand on big brother's shoulder, and then shows him what he's got in his palm -- a handful of chicken feed. He enters the coop, lures an unsuspecting bird to him, picks it up like you would a kitten, and SNAPS ITS NECK. Like you would a kitten! As soon as he hands the carcass to his big brother, the father comes back outside and congratulates the older boy. The older child is a truthful child, and admits to his father that he didn't off the bird. As the old man scoffs at the older boy and looks fondly at the younger, the subtitles tell us he says, "At least one of you will be a man. Well done, Sayid." And we cut to...

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