Man Of Science, Man Of Faith

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | 2 USERS: A
Desmond's got a gun
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!
Since so many people were unimpressed with the lack of revelation on last season's finale, I've come up with a plan. We'll do this Sopranos-style: the episodes that are starting now aren't actually a whole new season. They're bonus episodes of Season 1.

Just like the first season, this one opens with an extreme close-up of someone's eye. Brown, and slightly bloodshot. Then a shot of a cursor on a green computer screen, reminiscent of the '80s. The cursor comes after a prompt that resembles an angry emoticon: >:, and the computer's beeping. The Eyeball Kid hops out of the top bed of what appears to be a bunk bed, and the light coming in the room looks like morning light. He hops down to the floor and slides in his chair Alex P. Keaton-style over to the computer, clickety-clacks on the keys, and presses a well-used EXECUTE button. The beeping stops.

We've yet to get a look at this guy's face. It's always obscured, or shot from above or from the back, in the usual television "guess the character" style. Simply from his being a man, I've eliminated Shannon, Kate, Sun, Claire, and Rousseau from the list of possibilities. While that sort of deductive reasoning may impress you, please keep in mind that I am a professional television-watching guy.

The Eyeball Kid wanders over to a bookshelf in his space-age bachelor pad and thumbs through some records (actual vinyl) next to the lava lamp. He chooses a record, and the California sunshine voice of Mama Cass starts singing "Make Your Own Kind of Music" while the Eyeball Kid grabs dishes from the table and rinses them out in the sink and goes about his day. I'm visiting my parents for a few days, and trying to work on the recap here in Calgary, and Mom made me play the scene over again because she wanted to sing along (and when the song stopped because of the upcoming explosion, Mom says, "What the hell?" so if my mom starts posting in the Bitterness thread, you'll know why. Sample complaint: "And also, WTF is with Daniel not calling me often enough?").

Anyway, Eyeball Kid gets on the exercise bike (an older one, with an analog odometer), does some pull-ups and sit-ups. So, um, no judgment here, but I've just eliminated Hurley from the list of possible characters. At this point, I was thinking it was Jack, assuming the first person to get what appeared to be a flashback (as the show started, thinking of the cliffhangers we'd been left with, I yelled, "They're starting with a flashback? Assholes!") would be the show's, for lack of a better word, hero. But the hair's wrong. And as he showers, we see the shoulders aren't slopey enough to be Sawyer's.

Laundry is done, and protein powder is thrown into a blender with some cherries and peaches. And, like most people do in the morning, he grabs a vial of some golden liquid, pops it into an injection gun, and shoots it into his bicep. If this guy weren't so tall, I'd be shifting my money to Charlie.

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