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Daniel: B+ | Grade It Now!
The hand that Lockes the cradle

Flashback to a press conference Hurley's holding after claiming his lottery winnings, which Lost would have you believe would attract as much media attention as a Super Bowl or a presidential inauguration. Moreover, all of the reporters are as excited as they would be at the former, and taking this "story" as seriously as they would the latter. And they do that reporter-mob-television-hubbub thing that disappears instantly when a particular question is asked instead of just muttering rhubarb-rhubarb-rhubarb. Asian Reporter Tricia Takanawa asks how he came up with the winning numbers, like maybe he FIGURED OUT WHAT THE WINNING NUMBERS WOULD BE or something. "They just sort of came to me," says Hurley, after hesitating a bit. That was apparently the only question all those reporters could think of to ask Hurley about himself, so an earnest reporter in a suit asks Hurley to introduce his family. Hurley sweetly introduces his mom, Carmen, as a "bashful beauty," and then he introduces his brother Diego and Diego's wife Lucy, and Diego's got a shaved head, only judging from the pattern of head stubble, he's not bald entirely by choice. And Diego yells, "We're rich, woo!" and the reporters laugh dutifully, only I think Diego's a bit of an idiot, and Hurley jokingly tells everyone to ignore Diego, as he's a moron, and Hurley is way too nice and this is why everyone loves Hurley. This is also why: he introduces his grandfather Tito, who he says is the best guy he knows, and explains that Tito's worked three jobs for 52 years, and the closest Tito's come to a vacation is when he had a pacemaker put in four years ago, and this is all sweet, and the kind of story when you see on the news you're kind of glad this person won the lottery? I actually found myself going "aww," which I never do outside of when they retire numbers of my favourite athletes and the athletes have their kids there, and the kids are always sweetly amazed, like, you're doing this for my dad? He's just Dad! This is evoking the same feeling for me, only it's fake and now I'm annoyed. And Hurley's going on about giving his grandfather the rest he's earned, and then Hurley blathers on about how nice it is to do things for his loved ones, especially as he's put them through a lot lately, although he doesn't elaborate, and he talks about buying his mom a house, and then when his grandfather gets back from a cruise, they're going to do all kinds of things...only by this point Tito has looked increasingly uncomfortable before finally just keeling right over.

Back on the island, Hurley's filling up buckets of water at the stream, when Charlie unfortunately comes strolling up. He says hello, and Hurley all jumpy says, "What? I'm not doing anything!" and Charlie's all quizzical and notices Hurley packing away the water, so he asks if Hurley's going somewhere. Hurley says no, but then seems to realize that it kinda looks like he is, so he says he's just going for a walk, to scope out some new fishing area. Charlie wants to come with, and Hurley gets all antsy and says no, and his excuse is that he just wants some alone time right now. Charlie doesn't seem to believe this, but -- and I mean this sincerely, and I'm not saying it solely due to my ever-deepening dislike for the hobbit -- I'm guessing that lately, like before he even landed on the island, he's used to people making up excuses not to be in his company.

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