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Desperately Seeking Some Answers

Juliet interrupts his seductively sweet sultry patter to ask, "Where exactly are we going?" Richard can't tell her that, but he can tell her that she will see things there she has never imagined. Stuff like: Murder? Kidnappings? Blackmail? Acting lessons? (Oops, too mean!) Richard says that no one is forcing her to do anything, so if she's changing her mind, they can take her back. They'll just make fun of her, call her a whore, and smear her name all over campus. Juliet grabs the OJ and in true sorority style totally shotguns it. The frat boys are totally impressed. She passes out, only to wake up strapped to a cot. How very Re-animator! Just as she is about to panic, Creepy Ethan is there. Of course. He apologizes for strapping her in, but the last leg of the trip can be pretty bumpy. And he's sorry she can't talk, but that will wear off. She jumps off the bunk barefoot, grabs her purse and jacket, and follows Creepy Ethan out. He says that they're here. And Juliet asks, where? Creepy Ethan points up a ladder. Then he stands there while Juliet climbs up the ladder in her skirt. Pervert. Juliet emerges from the submarine miraculously wearing her high heels. She is confused. When did she have time to put her shoes on? She blinks into the sun and realizes that she has arrived on an Island via a submarine. A man approaches. He says, "Hello, Dr. Burke, I'm Ricardo Montalban Benjamin Linus. I'm really looking forward to working with you." Tattoo runs up to grab her bags as they make their way down the dock.

Charlie is entertaining Aaron with a mango (Stupid baby! Mangoes aren't toys!) and back-seat cooking whatever it is Hurley's making. He is adding too much water and making it soggy! Hurley points out that it's oatmeal and is supposed to be soggy. Heh. Sawyer strolls past with his quip du jour: "Well, if it isn't three men and a baby!" Hurley and Charlie look unimpressed, so Sawyer throws out the zinger: "I counted Hugo twice!" Ba-dum-bah! Sawyer laughs at his own "wit." Claire stumbles up to the group looking like a zombie extra from Shaun of the Dead. Charlie asks what she is doing out of bed. She says her head is pounding and she needs an aspirin. Uh oh, did Charlie roofie her? Is that the theme of this week's episode? I totally saw an Afterschool Special with this plot. Sawyer is still wearing his Crown of Leadership, and offers to go get her some aspirin from his personal stash. But hey, isn't a doctor better than an aspirin? 'Cause here comes Jack! Sawyer is impressed. So impressed that he braves the wrath of the post-Imus FCC and says, "Son of a bitch." I'm blushing! Then Sawyer sees Kate, walking the obligatory ten paces behind Jack. In a moment of great acting, Sawyer looks simultaneously incredibly happy and incredibly sad. Sun sees Jack and points him out to Jin. The other people on the beach notice too, and everyone runs up to surround him. Sawyer and Jack shake hands and then end up man-hugging each other. After everyone has moved away, Sawyer grabs Kate and hugs her a long time and rubs her head. It's sweet! He totally drops her when he realizes she hasn't showered in two wee-- I mean, when he sees Juliet standing a ways down the beach. He demands to know what she's doing there. Everyone stops and stares and makes her feel like the vegetarian at the barbecue. I'm sure she would be cringing if, you know, she hadn't frozen all of her facial muscles.

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