Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | 1 USERS: A+
The petty details of so-and-so's life

Desmond puts the cover back on the computer, says "all right," and flicks the switch. The hole is momentarily plunged into darkness, before being bathed in faint yellow backup light. "Oh no," says Desmond. Yeah, that's putting it mildly. Locke comes running in. He has a box of popcorn and a Coke, but apparently the concession stand was out of Twizzlers. "What happened?" he asks, and Desmond says, "It's over!" which, thanks to my love of Rocky, forces me to yell, "Nothing is ovah!" Desmond goes running into the pantry. I hope he's not looking for those chocolate bars, or he's going to be pissed. Desmond starts stuffing a backpack full of supplies. "Are you going?" asks Locke. Desmond doesn't even bother to answer, but, to be fair, it was a pretty stupid question. Next, Desmond goes for some of that stuff he was shooting into his arm in the first episode (we also spot a book called The Third Policeman, which I've read, and I encourage you to do so, and to do this: read the first word on pages four, eight, fifteen, sixteen, twenty-three, and forty-two. It's worth it, I promise). Locke says Sayid's coming to fix the computer. "Give him my best," says Desmond pleasantly.

Desmond goes running down the hall to the front door, with Locke chasing him. Jack follows a little more slowly, after spotting a photograph of Desmond with a woman in front of a city skyline. It's a city I don't recognize, but I can tell you that, since there's more than one tall building, it's not my hometown. Locke says Desmond can't leave, and asks where he's going to go. "As far as I can run, brothah," he says, and he's gone. Jack comes next, completely ignoring Locke freaking out, asking Jack what they should do. "Nothing. We do nothing. It's not real. None of it is real," he says. Jack's leaving too. "This wasn't supposed to happen!" wails Locke. Jack pauses long enough just to say, "What was supposed to happen?" He's just as much a dick about it as you can imagine, but adds, for good measure, "Bye, John. You're on your own." He closes the door behind him.

Locke heads back to the computer room, where he starts fiddling with the computer. He knocks some tools onto the floor, and starts gathering them up, growing increasingly agitated, muttering, "Why is this happening?" before finally losing it and yelling, "What am I supposed to do?"

Helen's in bed, asleep. Locke's lying on his back, looking at the ceiling. Then he's washing his face in the bathroom, and rubbing the scar from his kidney operation. Then he's looking at his ear and wondering if he should get it re-pierced. Then he's wondering if thirty is too old to do that, or if thirty is in fact too young for this to be a midlife crisis, so he should definitely do it now before he actually is too old to do it. Or was that me? It's true what they say; the mind is the first thing to...uh...I'll have to get back to you.

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