Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
Flippin' The Bird
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Open to Claire's black eyeliner-rimmed baby blues. She has bathroom-dyed black hair and a head wound. She is bleeding and behind the wheel in a car with the air bag blown. She spies a woman on the ground outside the car and realizes it's her mother. She tries both doors to no avail, crawls out the shattered windshield, and climbs over the dented hood to her mother who is unconscious, bleeding, and not doing so well. Sirens wail in the background. Claire is yelling and shaking her mother. Apparently Claire has not taken First Aid 101 because the first line of the textbook states: "Do not shake head trauma victims. You will hurt them. Bad."

Claire opens her eyes on the beach to a giant Edible Arrangement (tm), which is the fastest growing franchise on Craphole Island! Charlie is branch manager and has decided to drum up some business by presenting Claire with the Aussie Arrangement complete with a sign that reads "G'day." Charlie is holding Aaron. No, not as a hostage or an offering, but as a nicety. He wanted Claire to sleep in and wake up fully refreshed and able to really appreciate her fruity bouquet of the Island's bounty before he whisks her off to the breakfast picnic he has set up in her honor just down the beach. Before she can drink her half-caf extra hot skinny latte, Charlie? Geez, give a girl a minute. Claire sits up, studies him for a second, and then asks him what's up. He's been so depressed all week, why is he so damn happy now? Is he smoking the foliage? No. Charlie just woke up determined to be happy and to seize the day. And there is no one he would rather do some day-seizing with than Claire. Oh is that what the kids are calling it these days, you freakin' Pollyanna? Charlie continues, "Let's drop the cherub off with Auntie Sun and Uncle Jin and have a lovely day playing the Glad Game all over the Island!" Claire smiles and says she would love too. Girls are such suckers for fancily arranged fruit.

Out on the Quest for the Holy Jack, Sayid is examining his map. He claims that if the scale is right The Barracks should be two miles that-a-way. He isn't expecting their one-eyed Other prisoner to verify that assumption though. Locke spits at the fire they have started in broad daylight and stands up in order to point out that they are following an electrical wiring map, and it may not be as reliable as Sayid seems to think. Sayid flicks him on the head and says, "Shut up you station blower upper! While the map is certainly not as infallible as the magical carvings on your Stick it's still a freakin' map!" Locke is offended by Sayid's aspersion casting at his Stick and points out that the Stick did find the station. The Stick is starting to be like the Log Lady's Log on Twin Peaks. Ask the Log! The Log knows! Sayid stands up to get in Locke's face better and to point out once again that Locke Blew. Up. The. Station. Locke shoots back that if Sayid had warned him that the place was wired in C4 maybe he would have been more careful. Is Locke going to beat Sayid about the head with the Stick? Stay tuned! Kate asks Patch Adams if they are going the right way. Patch says they are. I think prisoners are a very reliable source of information. Locke asks why they are keeping him alive. Sayid asks if Locke would prefer that they shoot him like a dog. Locke says, no, he likes dogs. Where is Vincent anyway? Probably out quietly finishing off Roger the life-size rawhide. Nasty Labrador. Rousseau (Oh hey there! Forgot you were here!) reiterates her desire to kill Patch, mentioning that there is no way the Others will trade his life for Jack's. Kate finds a high horse, saddles him up, states that no one is shooting anyone and rides off into the sunset. She comes back to add that the map says where we are and he says the map is right. Let's keep moving.

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