Lost

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Flippin' The Bird

Dark Claire wants to know why he came now. He could have paid the bills from the States. He says that he came because he wanted to help. Help what? Jack's Dad sits up straighter using posture (again!) to tell her that he will be imparting great wisdom that she may not want to hear. He tells her that her mother is alive, but not really living. She needs to make a decision, but she shouldn't make the decision based on her selfish desire to keep her mother around. It's what her mother would want. She should listen to her long-lost, always-thought-you-were-dead, had-a-one-night-stand-17-years-ago father on this. Who better to make life or death decisions for you then some dude you picked up in a bar 17 years ago? No, really. Quit laughing. Jack's Dad continues to talk over the peals of laughter: "While it is illegal to unhook the machines, I know ways that can ease her pain, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, and not face the legal consequences." Dark Claire won't listen to anymore of this malarkey. She says there is no way he came to ease her pain. Jack's Dad calls her "honey" in a feeble attempt at curtailing the earful he is about to get. It does not work. She says that paying the bills does not make him noble. She accuses Jack's Dad of just coming to fix a mistake he made 17 years ago. He comes down here just to try and convincer her to kill her mom? Just says go home. Go home to your real family. He may be her Dad, but she doesn't even know his name, and she wants it to stay that way. I agree. "Jack's Dad" is good enough for me. Jack's Dad wants her to kill her mom. Legally, of course. Jack's Dad does not want her to keep her mom alive for the wrong reasons. She needs to do what is right. Dark Claire stooge slaps him across the head. Well, she does that with her eyes anyway. Jack's Dad finally gets it, says goodbye, calls her "kiddo," and says it was great seeing her again. We all believe him.

Light Claire stealthily follows Desmond on his damn boar hunt. But he is not hunting boar, he is hunting a bird. One of Claire's birds. He is running all over the rocks on the beach trying to get the bird. Claire runs up to him demanding to know what the hell he is doing. How dare he hunt a bird? She is the bird hunter on the Island. This is her episode. How dare he? More importantly, how did he know the bird was going to be there? Desmond claims he didn't know. Claire points out that he walked straight there, climbed up a rock, and grabbed the bird. She wants to know what the hell is going on. Is he a bird psychic? She knows he and Charlie have been talking about something. Is that it? His ability to commune with the birds? Desmond stares deep into her baby blues, shakes his head, and decides to tell her the truth. See that rock over there? That's where Charlie slipped and fell in and got pounded over and over by the waves. That's where Charlie died. Desmond, does this mean you're not a bird psychic? Quick aside: If Desmond hadn't shot at the birds on the beach and they had caught a bird there, why would Charlie have died trying to catch one later on the rocks? Huh? Huh? Oh forget it. I'm going out to the driveway to slam the car door into my head a few times. It's just as productive as asking questions about this show.

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Lost

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