Pilot, Part II

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Dan Kawa: A | Grade It Now!
The Second Time Is Always the Sweetest Time (For Rammin')
Back on Midsection Beach, Toenails is stretched out in a bikini, tanning, as suckers labor away in the background. Her traveling companion approaches, gearing up for another tête-à-tête. "I see you found your bag," he says. He asks if she wants to help the castaways sort through clothes. "Not really," she answers, without opening her eyes. "You're wasting your time," she adds as he walks away. "They're coming."

"Is that your boyfriend?" Claire asks. She's also lying around lazily, though she has the excuse of being gigantically pregnant to fall back on. "My brother," Toenails says. "Boone. God's friggin' gift to humanity." Ha! I really, really like how mean she is. Claire eyes Toenails and says, "I used to have a stomach," which seems silly, as her current stomach is six to seven times as impressive as Toenails'. "Do you know what [gender the baby] is?" Toenails asks, and Claire says she doesn't. Then Claire decides to unload her worries to the one person least likely to say something nice on the whole entire island. "I haven't felt the baby move since yesterday," she says, and, of course, Toenails has nothing to say about that.

Mr. Korea, whose name, according to the IMDB, is Jin, is plucking sea urchins from the shallows while Ms. Korea ("Sun") looks on. Mercutio approaches and asks if they've seen his son. After a quick look to Jin, Sun speaks Korean to Mercutio. No subtitles this time -- I imagine because the two Koreans aren't speaking to each other -- but I checked with my friend Denny, who speaks Korean, and he told me Sun very clearly said, "I am exceedingly happy with my marriage." Then Jin hollers at her to amp up the demure and button the top button of her shirt. "I'm trying to collect sea urchins here!" he yells. "Your open top button is too tempting, because I love your hot body!" She buttons up, although apparently Jin has no problem with the quite impressive expanse of leg revealed by her above-the-knee skirt. Guess he's a top-of-the-neck man, not a leg man.

So where's Walt? Oh, he's in the jungle, carrying around a leash, looking for Vincent, whom I assume is his dog. I dunno. Maybe it's his brother, who's so dumb he requires a leash in public. Walt sees something ahead in a shot made a little eerie by the eerie music and a lot eerie by the eerie chunk of sun-dappled wreckage plunked into the jungle floor behind him. We see him pick up a closed pair of handcuffs. His dad runs up behind Walt and scolds him for wandering away. "I told you to stay on the beach," Mercutio says, and Walt replies, "It's so close to the beach I thought this would be okay." I like that Mercutio's response here is "Don't do that" -- Walt was trying to get away with the same kind of shit I always was as a kid, and it's an interesting moment between them. "You listen to me," Mercutio continues. "I mean what I say, you understand?" Then he notices the handcuffs and urges Walt back to the beach.

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