Raised By Another

Episode Report Card
Dan Kawa: A | Grade It Now!
I Can See How Ugly She'll Be When She's Old (The Psychic's Lament)
Anyways, Thomas claims that tests of this sort are not always accurate: "My uncle, you know, we thought he had testicular cancer," he desperately says. "Yeah, he did," Claire cries. "He's dead!" Ha! Behind Thomas, by the way, we see a truly terrible painting standing on an easel, expertly worked up by the prop department to demonstrate in one three-second shot that Thomas is a terrible, terrible artist. It looks like a finger painting by a quite unskilled six-year-old. So let's call him Thomas Kinkade, shall we? Claire faces facts and says she's six weeks late. She starts to make the bed as Thomas Kinkade stammers and stutters a bit more. But then he seems to take a stab in the dark and pitches to Claire the idea that they could make parenthood work. "My mom would disown me," Claire says, to which Thomas Kinkade points out she basically has already. And how would they support the baby, Claire asks -- on her "$5-an-hour job at Fish 'n' Fry?" Mmm, fish and chips. We had some great ones at the Fryer's Delight in London. I could eat some right now. "You're not the only one with a job, you know?" Thomas Kinkade simpers. "I mean, I've got my painting." Er, yeah, Thomas Kinkade -- and I've got my writing, but you won't be seeing my attractive lawyer wife becoming an attractive homemaker wife anytime soon. "That's sweet, but this isn't what we want," Claire says. Thomas Kinkade hilariously counters, "It could be, like, the best thing ever." They love each other, et cetera.

Broody Beach. Kate's staring out to sea as Jack approaches. "Well, this is a first," he says. "You, standing still, middle of the day, doin' nothing." Jack, have you been paying attention? If I recall correctly, the last time Kate accomplished anything other than being an adorable buttinski was when she sorted through clothes with Claire. "I am doing something," Kate claims -- she's standing in the surf, sinking into the sand as the waves roll over her feet. "I used to do it with my mom when I was a kid," she adds. Boy, stay out of the way of the Beckinsales when you go to the beach! Those Beckinsale girls have fun in the sun at a dangerous level! Jack clumsily segues to a discussion of Sayid, about whom Kate is still worried. Jack thinks he's fine. More awkward small talk, and Jack tells Kate that the baby's coming soon.

The jungle. Charlie brings Claire a cuppa and takes a seat. He asks if she's feeling better, then tries to take her mind off things by going on about a dream he has that symbolizes his fear of impotence. "I'm all right, Charlie," Claire says. Charlie tells her that if she needs someone to talk to -- a friend -- he would be happy to serve. She gives him a bit of a cold shoulder in response, though she's fairly nice about it. He says he gets it and takes off, clearly a bit hurt. Claire looks at the hypnogourd again and...

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