Lost

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Paging Dr. Freud

When Sawyer chased after Locke, he did not pass Go, he did not collect two hundred dollars, and he did not stop to put his shoes on. No one thinks this is a particularly good situation, but they keep on trekking while Sawyer adds to his collection of ringworm, hookworm, and giant-ass splinters. As Sawyer tiptoes through the underbrush, he asks Locke what else is in the file on him. Locke says that he knows Sawyer's parents died when he was very young, but it doesn't say why his dad killed his mom and then turned the gun on himself. They have his high school transcripts too. Fuck, those things never go away! Okay, I will just tell you now, because apparently it's going to come out eventually: I got a C+ in Drama. I am not theatrical, okay? Geez. Damn permanent record. Sawyer is as happy at the prospect of reviewing his high school transcript as I am. As Locke continues recounting Sawyer's personal information, Sawyer whips out his gun, knocks Locke in the back of the head, and takes him down. He was conned once by Ben and he is not going to be conned again. He pins Locke, grabs his knife, and demands to know why Locke came back for him. Locke says he can't do it -- he can't kill him! As Sawyer gets off him, Locke punches the ground in frustration. Sawyer says they will go get Ben and bring him back to the camp, but that he isn't killing anyone. Locke says he understands, but that Sawyer will change his mind when he hears what he has to say.

Aw, you know who the boys trust? Sayid! Yay, Sayid! When Hurley finds him, Sayid is out in the jungle digging a hole for no apparent reason at all. I guess being on a deserted Island gets pretty darn boring after awhile. Hurley watches him for a second until Sayid gets uncomfortable and turns to look at him. Hurley asks if he can keep a secret. Cut to Hurley bringing Sayid to the tent where the pilot is hidden. He asks Charlie, who's standing guard, if it's true they haven't told Jack, er, jack. Charlie confirms it, and Sayid enters the tent. He and Desmond nod at each other. Sayid introduces himself to the pilot and says, "I understand your helicopter crashed on the island." The pilot replies, "No, I crashed in the water." Um, lady? Is this really the time for semantics? Sayid is gracious enough to ignore this and continue his questioning. He finds out that the pilot's name is Naomi, that she took off from a freighter, and that she is part of a search-and-recovery team. He says that he knows she told his friends that the wreckage of Flight 815 was found, but he wants to know if she meant the partial wreckage? No, she did not! They found the entire plane in a trench near Bali. Camera-equipped robots were sent in, and all the bodies were on board. Sayid smiles and says, "Well, we are obviously not dead." Naomi smiles and replies, "Obviously." A giant Anvil of Foreshadowing smashes through my skylight. Oh well, damn thing leaked like it had the holes in this plot anyway.

Sayid asks who she was looking for if she wasn't looking for them. She was hired by Penelope to search for Desmond. Desmond has a big doofy grin on his face, because he's an ex-monk with a hot rich girlfriend who sent a search-and-rescue mission after him and Sayid isn't. Sayid rolls his eyes and asks if Naomi knew about the Island? She says she was given coordinates in the middle of the ocean and thought she was on a fool's errand -- until three days ago, when she was flying back to the ship, the clouds cleared, and she saw land. At the same time her dials started spinning, she realized she was going down, and she bailed from the 'copter. Sayid, being the smart one who may have learned something from their time with "Henry the Parachuter," turns to Desmond to ask if he actually saw her helicopter. He did not. Sayid turns back to Naomi and says, "I assume you have no means of communicating with that freighter of yours." Naomi looks offended and asks his name again. He says it is Sayid. She replies, "Remind me not to rescue you, Sayid," as she pulls a magic box out of her pants.

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Lost

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