The Greater Good

Episode Report Card
LTG: B- | Grade It Now!
Putting The "Fun" Back In "Funeral"

Back on Craphole Island, Kate is walking through the jungle, when she looks down and finds…THE HATCH! Ha! Fooled you! She actually finds a piece of white cloth, which I think is supposed to be Jack's bandage. All of a sudden, Jack stumbles out of the brush, looking about as dead as Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Corpses. We see the key to the case o' guns on a string around Jack's neck, by the way. Kate points out to Jack that he's walking in circles and should really get his ass back to the camp, but he won't go back without Locke. And why is Jack so angry at Locke? Because apparently, he thinks that if Locke had told him that Boone's leg was crushed in a fall in an airplane rather than broken in a fall from a cliff, he would have been able to save Boone's life. Kate appeals to Jack's sense of himself as an indispensable hero by lying to him and telling him that everyone else needs him to return to camp.

Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Corpses, has been wrapped in a blue tarp and is being carried on a stretcher to a freshly dug grave near the beach. A bunch of lostaways gather around, although I must point out that there are no more than twenty-five people there, thirty tops. Did Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Corpses really alienate that many people while he was alive? And where's Rose? String music, all very sad, weep weep weep. Jack, barely able to speak because he's breathing so hard, asks Shannon if she wants to say anything. She doesn't. And then I jump out of my skin as we hear Sayid loudly screaming out a eulogy for Boone, God's Friggin' Gift to Corpses. Blah blah, he was a great guy who was the first to try to save a drowning woman. (And enough with the callbacks to earlier episodes. All this linking is a pain in the ass.) And then we hear Locke, calling out, "It was my fault." He's standing by a tree, covered with much more of Boone's blood than when we last saw him. He tells them the story of finding the plane, leaving out all the stuff about how they searched for it as a result of his dream and how he was losing the use of his legs. Every sentence he starts just kind of fades to nothingness about halfway through. Of course, if I had a crowd of people looking at me the way the lostaways are looking at him, I'm not sure I could finish many sentences either. But it turns out that the point of Locke's story is that Boone died trying to help everyone by using the radio on the plane to call for help. And then Jack starts shouting at Locke, "Where were you? Where were you? Where the hell were you, you son of a bitch!" He's walking straight at Locke, and he tackles him, yelling out, "What did you do to him?" Woo hoo! It's not a funeral until there's a fistfight. Or maybe that's just my family. Some of the other lostaways pull Jack off Locke while he keeps screaming. Credits.

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