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Cindy McLennan: A | Grade It Now!
Live Alone; Die Together
t care about being together." Juliet's smiles a tearful smile at Sawyer who misses it, because he's just taken exactly the WRONG FRIGGING MINUTE TO LOOK AT KATE! Oh, James. Rose tells them where the barracks are so they can get their bearings and the trio bids Rose and Bernard a fond farewell. When Bernard asks if maybe they wouldn't like some tea first, Juliet turns and swallows back her tears. Holding onto her stomach she says, "Maybe another time," then follows behind her man who's following behind his woman. We're spared any more angst when we jump to...

Jungle of Mystery; 2007: Ilana and crew carry the what's-in-the-box-box along as Frank wishes aloud that they'd never shown him what was in the box. Bram says they need to show it to somebody (else), "so they'll know who they're up against" which Bram notes is "something a hell of a lot scarier than what's in this box, Frank." Yeah, Frank. Wait. I don't know why I used the italics-of-disdain on Frank, there. I love him. Bram tells Frank that as long as he's "with us" he'll be fine. When Frank wants to know who Bram and crew are, he proudly says, "We're the good guys." Frank's been around the block a few times, you know what I'm saying? "In my experience, the people who go out of their way to tell you they're the good guys are the bad guys." Their mutual sideways glances of distrust are cut short when Ilana stops and announces, "We're here." They're outside a ramshackle cabin. I do think it's the one we were led to think of as Jacob's cabin, which is, I think, the one Horace Goodspeed built for himself and his wife. I don't think it's also Rose and Bernard's. I do think I have cabin fever, so I'll get to the point: it's old and abandoned-looking and there's a circle of ash around it. When Bram tells her to look at the ash, we see the circle has been broken. Ilana catches her breath and says, "Wait here." Now all I know about TV magic I learned from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Supernatural. That ash circle is there to keep something out or in. Either way, the fact that it's broken is so not good, at least in Ilana's eyes. Speaking of which, we jump to...

A Hospital: It, too, has seen better days. One of Ilana's eyes takes it all in, because the rest of her head is bandaged. Okay, her mouth and nose are free, too. A nurse speaks to her in what I'm going to guess is Russian and tells her that she has a visitor who insists upon seeing her. It's JACOB! Or is it? Well, it looks just like him, so he's getting called Jacob for now. He's wearing a black overcoat and black gloves. He pulls a white chair up and takes a seat at her bedside. He folds his hands in his lap and apologizes for not making it there soon. In Russian. He switches to English and leans in very close to her. If he touches her, I didn't see it on my TV screen. "I'm here because I need your help. Can you do that? Will you help me, Ilana?" Ilana looks at him with her one free eye, and says, "Yes." He gives her nothing but words. We jump back to...

The Cabin: It's a disaster inside. Ilana takes note of the portrait of a dog, Lulu. Ilana's gaze travels from the dirty old sink, to the table covered in debris, the upturned chair and all about this hellhole, until it lands on a knife in the wall. It's holding some sort of note -- or rather, a tapestry scrap. She pulls out the knife, examines the scrapestry and goes back outside, where she tells Bram that "He isn't there and hasn't been in a long time. Someone else has been using it." She orders her crew to, "Burn it," which they do despite Frank's observation that starting a fire in the middle of a jungle might not be the smartest move. When Bram wants to know, "What now," Ilana hands him the scrapestry, which features Tawaret. Bram's eyes grow wide. "I guess we know where we're going." Oh, me too, me too! They take in their fire for a moment, before carrying their what's-in-the-box-box away, into the Commercial.

California; 2000: JACOB sits on a bench outside a building, reading Flannery O'Connor's, Everything That Rises Must Converge. Although familiar with O'Connor, I haven't read her work, so I'm not going to be a pretender and draw a bunch of parallels to it and Lost. Plenty of people who actually know what they're talking about have already done so, so if you want to know more, that's why Jacob made Al Gore invent the Internet. Speaking of Jacob, he sits and reads for a long time, a really long time, a really really long time, because watching someone read silently on TV is not what you'd call exciting. You wouldn't call it exciting, that is, unless and of course that reading-someone is sitting in front of the very building from which Anthony Cooper is just now defenestrating John Locke. When the glass shatters and you hear the sickening thump of his body hitting the ground, things start to pick up speed. Jacob marks his page, closes his book, uncrosses legs and saunters over to the scene of Locke's demise and I mean to use that word, because it sure looks to me like Locke is dead. It looks like he's dead, and dead is dead, until Jacob kneels down and firmly grasps Locke's shoulder. Locke gasps at Jacob's touch, which sounds more homoerotic than I mean it to, and he regains consciousness (returns to life). As Locke struggles to focus his eyes, Jacob says, "Don't worry. Everything's going to be all right. I'm sorry this happened to you." He rises and leaves a still-dazed Locke looking after him in wide, if still slightly-googly-eyed wonder. I'm not in much better shape as we jump to...

Island; 2007: Locke and the band of buggered arrive at the ruins of the Lost-aways' beach camp. He tells everyone to take a break. "Considering what I have planned for ya, you're going to need it." Locke calls Ben's attention to the old hatch "quarantine" door and notes that's where he and Ben first met. Isn't it romantic? When he asks Ben if he can ask him a question, Ben quips, "I'm a Pisces." And because it's Ben, that's funnier because it's not true. Locke wants to know what happened at the cabin when Ben first took him to meet Jacob. Ben confesses he was talking to an empty chair, but it still shocked the liar-liar-pants-afire pants off him when things started flying around the place. Ben pisses, moans and finishes his admission with a, "So yes, I was lying. That's what I do." Hee. Locke considers this, says, "All right then," and goes to leave, but is stopped when Ben asks why Locke wants him to kill Jacob. Locke crouches back down and speaking slowly, clearly and bitingly says, "Because, despite your loyal service to this island, you got cancer. You had to watch your own daughter gunned down right in front of you. And your reward for those sacrifices? You were banished. And you did all this in the name of a man you'd never even met." While Ben lets this sink in, Locke adds, "So the question is, Ben, why the hell wouldn't you want to kill Jacob?" We're treated to the music of Cindy This Is An Important Moment as the camera cuts to Sun. When she spots Aaron's cradle (lovingly made by John Locke, long ago and far away) still lying on its side, she stops to right it, and finds Charlie's Drive-Shaft ring nestled inside the now dirty blanket. Our girl's all about the bling, so she can't resist feeling it up. We jump to...

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