The Journey

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Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before
"What if you were on a plane, flying from Sydney to Los Angeles?"

Thus intones the voice of the narrator at the start of this Very Special "Episode" of Lost, featuring absolutely no new material at all, just a bunch of previously seen clips edited together with "The Journey" appended to the show's giant scary LOST graphic. Bad enough that ABC sees fit to broadcast this series in fits and starts, and lets its episodes run anywhere from a minute to three minutes past the top of the hour in order to squeeze in more advertising, as well as hopefully forcing people to miss the beginning of shows on other networks. And now, to make it seem like they haven't completely screwed viewers all season, they're packaging this travesty as a primer to get up to speed on the show. Because yeah, lots of people are going to start watching with four episodes left in the season. Up yours, ABC.

On the other hand, I'm getting paid for this garbage, so thanks! Suckers.

Plane interior. We're going to see a hodge-podge of shots from flashbacks of various characters. There's Charlie, fidgeting, dreaming of dimebags.

"A plane full of strangers. You could be sitting next to anyone."

There's Kate, and Jack, and that marshal who winds up dead. There's that sky-waitress hitting on Jack, asking him how his drink is.

"A doctor."

Jack says his drink is good and the waitress flirtingly tells him that that wasn't a very strong reaction, like, it's a damn airplane drink that Jack probably paid six bucks for. I don't imagine he's about to start doing handsprings down the aisle. Jack points out it's not a very strong drink, which for Jack really just means it was less than the full bottle.

"An addict."

There's Charlie running off to the airport bathroom and rubbing heroin all over his gums. Or Anbesol.

There's Kate and the marshal, who's asking her if she's sure she doesn't want any more juice. And then there's Kate's handcuffs.

"A prisoner."

And then, chaos. The plane shakes, rattles and rolls.

"Now. What if something went wrong?"

You mean after getting seated next to the drunk doctor, the junkie, or the prisoner? Jack reassures Rose, across the aisle. Charlie flushes his drugs down the toilet, or loo, or whatever the hell, then hits the roof of the bathroom, literally. The marshal gets beaned by a case that wasn't stored properly in an overhead compartment. Oxygen masks come down, and in all the chaos and confusion, a handcuffed Kate manages to snag the little handcuff key and free herself, and then puts a mask on the dazed marshal and herself. And then the back of the plane gets ripped off and people sucked outside in easily one of the most impressive effects I've ever seen on network television.

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