Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B+ | Grade It Now!
You Don't Know Jack

Right after Sawyer warns Hurley to keep his mouth shut, Claire wanders up. Hurley's gag reflex is less reactive than mine, so he manages to chirp out a "You look... [...] ... [...] ...great," before hugging her. Back in L.A., his mother says, "'Ugo, wherever you are, don't lie." Just then, Faucke returns and addresses the Fauckers, telling them how swell it is to have the band back together. Jack takes all this in, as does Sawyer. Speaking of...

Sideways; Cop Shop: Detective James Ford, munching on an apple, struts to his desk, where Kate is being booked. Before sending the Uniform on his way, Jim offers her his pre-tasted forbidden fruit. "Want an apple?" Once they're alone, Ford flips through Katherine Anne Austen's file. She's wanted for arson, assault on a federal officer, and 1st degree murder. Ford thinks she's too purty to be a murderer (okay, it's not what he said, but it's what he meant). Kate: "That's because I'm not." Ford will be sure to mention that to the Feds when they get there. He wants to know if she remembers him from the airport. Doesn't she think it's weird that they met up in the LAX elevator like that, and then a week later... "Of all the cars in Los Angeles, you smash into mine." Kate, looking extra hot with her clean hair and black leather jacket, wants to know if he's hitting on her. Ford says it would never work, since he's a cop and she's a murderer. Kate protests -- she's not a murderer. And you know, call me a sucker, or call me John Locke, but in this reality, I kind of believe her.

Anyhow, Kate deftly turns the tables on Ford. She notes that he failed to arrest her at LAX, even though he saw her handcuffs. In this reality, James Ford is the worst liar in the world, but he gives it his best and insists he never saw the cuffs. His wide eyes are totally his tell and... OMG, I need a sidebar.

Sidebar: Is it just me, or is there something about Ford here, that makes him look like John Locke? Don't believe me --- okay. Picture Locke with shaggy hair. Picture Ford (as he looks here) with none. Is it the eyes, or what? Don't tell me I'm the only one.

ANYhow, Kate is apparently psycho psychic in this reality, because she tells Ford that, in her opinion, he let her go at LAX, because he didn't want anyone to know that he'd been in Australia. "Should I tell that to the Feds, when they get here?" Ford, who should never, ever play poker, ages ten years in two seconds. However, he manages not to choke on the apple that HE'S STILL CHEWING, as he says, "Oh, I like you." Oh baby, you always have, and she's always liked you back, except for when she hated your guts.

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