The Long Con

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | Grade It Now!
Power play

Sawyer angrily stomps over and demands to know what Jack's doing. Jack's just taking back the medicine that Sawyer apparently stole from the hatch, which Sawyer says he was just stealing back, or re-stealing, I guess, since it was in his stash when he left. "You don't have a stash anymore," says Jack, and Sawyer growls that Jack doesn't want to do this: "Just give me the pills, we'll forget it ever happened." Jack asks, "Are you threatening me?" kind of incredulously. Sawyer says, "Last chance, Doc," and intensifies the glare. Jack's all "later!" and strolls off; Sawyer seethes two holes into his back, thinking, "I wish I knew how to quit you."

Flashback, Sawyer's still shirtless, like this episode is going for some kind of record. He's in bed, either pre- or post-coital with a brunette whom he's nuzzling and asking, "What do you want, right now?" "Just you," she whispers. They make out a little bit, until his eye catches the clock on the night table. He says he's gotta go, or he'll be late for the meeting he told her about. She says, kiddingly, that if he's got another date, he can just say so. "I can only wrap my mind around one woman at a time," he says, getting dressed, "but I appreciate the permission." He grabs his briefcase, which opens, spilling bundles of money everywhere. "You weren't exactly supposed to see that," says Sawyer, chagrined. By which he means, she was supposed to see exactly that, and this is exactly like the other con he was pulling.

The difference here, though, is that she doesn't fall for it; she giggles and can't believe he's serious, that he just happens to have a suitcase full of cash and the lock just happens to break. Sawyer stares at her. She scootches forward on the bed and grabs some of the money from the floor, evading Sawyer as he tries to stop her, and discovers that it's not real money. "Are you trying to con me? What, I ask you what all the money's for and you do some song and dance about an investment or something, and then I say, 'Hey, you know, I've got some money'?" Sawyer sits on the end of the bed, listening, and then says, "Look, you got me. Good for you. No harm, no foul." He gets up to go, and she tells him that he should have done his homework, since she "didn't take anything from him in the divorce. I'm not even worth your trouble." Sawyer looks like this is news to him. "Shame on me," he says. And then, she says this: "I want you to show me what you do," and she crosses the room to get close and says, "Show me how you con people, Sawyer." Because asking the con man to get out would be a dumb idea, I suppose.

Back on Craphole Island, Sawyer's tidying up his tent, and Kate strolls up to tell him that she loves what he's done with the place, because Kate always has to make some kind of smart-ass remark when she shows up. She says she heard Jack took Sawyer's painkillers. Sawyer curtly says he and the doc are "on the outs" but that's one less Christmas card he has to send this year. One fewer, James. Kate squats down, tossing him a…hairstyling magazine, I guess, because Sawyer makes a sarcastic comment about how he'd love to read about how to feather his hair, but he lost his glasses on the raft. He suggests instead that Kate read it to him, which makes her smile. "What, you got an appointment or something?" he asks. This gives her a giggling fit for some reason, like maybe Kate is smoking up or something, and she then starts to read him some article about "10 Ways To Tell If He's A Sensitive Man."

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