The Long Con

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | Grade It Now!
Power play

Flashback to Cassidy in the shower, Sawyer in the bathroom brushing his teeth. Cassidy wants to know what their next play is, and Sawyer says he'll show her the "pigeon drop." "We already did that. Twice. And the Tulsa Bag Scam and the Lookie-Loo. I want to do a big one," she says, and maybe that is a sly dig at Sawyer. "You want to do a big what?" says Sawyer, as Cassidy gets out of the shower and starts toweling off. "A big con," she says. Sawyer chuckles. "It's called a long con," he says. She asks how it works. "It works by getting someone to ask you to do something like it's their idea, but it's not their idea, it's your idea. But none of that matters, because the one thing you need for the long con, we ain't got -- money." I hope everyone was paying attention to that "getting someone to do something like it's their idea" business, 'cause it's kind of key. Of course, it's not exactly news to anyone who's seen a con movie before. Cassidy says she has money, and Sawyer breaks it to her that forty thousand in a mutual fund isn't money. She admits she "kind of lied" when she said she didn't get anything from the divorce. "'Kind of lied' how much?" asks Sawyer. Six hundred thousand, says Cassidy. Sawyer pretends to be surprised, as though it wasn't "kind of" obvious that he's known all along. "Well, hell, baby, with that kind of money let's go find an island somewhere and sit on a beach drinking mojitos 'til we go toes up." Any Sawyer apologist who thinks he was trying to give her an out with that line should remember that line about making someone think it was her own idea. She pleads with him, telling him that for the first time in her life she's happy, and it's because of Sawyer, and blah blah blah, and begs for one long con. "And then the mojitos," she says. Sawyer says he'll think about it, and Cassidy drags him into the bedroom? Shower? so he can think about it in there. Or, more likely, have sex with her.

In the hatch, Locke's pulling a book called Owl Creek Bridge from the bookcase and rifling through it when Sawyer strolls in. And even though I was kidding when I told you that the first word on Pages 4, 8, 15 etc. of The Third Policeman formed an interesting sentence, I'm totally serious this time. Get Owl Creek Bridge and check the first word on Pages 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42. I mean it. "Hate to interrupt whatever the hell it is you're doing," says Sawyer. Locke glances at him. "What are you doing?" Locke throws the book on a table with a bunch of others. "I'm alphabetizing," he says, clearly lying. Sawyer jokes that after Sun gets attacked in the jungle is a good time to start the "damn Dewey decimal system."

"How can I help you, James?" asks Locke, ruffling Sawyer a little bit by using his real name, and Sawyer says he's here to give John a heads-up about the posse heading his way for some firepower, after what happened to "Tokyo Rose," showing once again his winning cultural sensitivity. "And once those guns are out and about…something tells me they ain't never going back in." Locke wants to know why Sawyer's telling him this. "'Cause it'll piss off Jack," is the answer. Well, that's finally some plausible motivation. Sawyer suggests Locke change the combination, but Locke perplexingly says that won't work, because if Jack wants to get in, he'll get in. By ripping the door from its hinges? Instead, Locke gets an idea, which is totally his own idea: he asks Sawyer to help him move the guns. "Move them where?" asks Sawyer, but Locke doesn't answer. "Fine. You don't want to trust me? Lots of luck." He starts to leave, and Locke says he can't leave the hatch unmanned. Saywer "reluctantly" says, "Sure, you move the guns and I'll stay here and push your damn button for you." Locke asks how long before the posse arrives. "Well, that ain't my problem, hoss. It's yours," says Sawyer.

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